Oh, The Funny Things They Say!

So today Cameron was home from school with us because of a tummy problem. It is on the mend, but still, he’s not allowed back at school yet. So, we took him shopping. On our way out, he said something that was hard to hear, but the conversation that followed was a hoot!

Cameron: I want to buy a boy.
Me: You want to buy a boy? What about a girl?
Cameron: No, you’d have to get pregnant for one of those.
Me: So, you want to buy a boy and get pregnant with a girl?
Cameron: No, Both
Me: So, you want to get pregnant with boy and a girl?
Cameron: No! I can’t do that!
Me: I don’t think you can buy a boy or a girl.
Cameron: I can get one at the homeless shelter.

OMG! I love this kid!

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Oh, The Funny Things They Say!

I was watching some funny cat videos on youtube with the boys. One of the videos were talking about cats and mentioned they are a type of animal. Cameron had something to say about that.

Cameron: What?! Cats are animals?

Me: Yes! Cats are a type of animal, just like dogs and even people.

Cameron: How can a cat be an animal when they are so clumsy?

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Oh, The Funny Things They Say!

Cameron was in Sunday school yesterday and the teacher was talking about Jesus being a shepherd. She explained how shepherds watch over sheep which are notoriously dumb animals that don’t think for themselves, and are very hard to train. She showed the class a picture and asked a question.

Teacher: If Jesus is the shepherd. Who is the sheep?

Cameron: My brother!

 

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Oh, The Funny Things They Say!

The other day, it was quite cold out. For the beginning of Spring, Winter sure wants to hold on a bit longer! Kiefer, who is usually comfortable in the chilly weather, was feeling a bit uncomfortable in his jacket. He decided to let me know just how he was feeling. This is why you never accept the first comment.

Kiefer: I want to kill myself!

Me: Why?

Kiefer: I hate this world!

Me: Why?

Kiefer: I don’t want to be on this Earth anymore!

Me: Why?

Kiefer: Because I’m cold!

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Oh, The Funny Things They Say!

Cameron came out of his room after I checked in on him for bedtime. He had a question about his boy bits.

 

Cameron: Mommy, it happened again. My penis is squishy. (he pulls down his pants to show me)

Me: That can happen. It’s normal. (noticing he wasn’t showing me his penis) Cameron, which part is bothering you?

Cameron: (Squishing to his scrotum between his fingers.) This part. My penis.

Me: Cameron, those are your testicles. The other part is your penis.

Cameron: Why do they call it the testicles when I can’t even see the testing part?

 

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Oh, The Funny Things They Say!

So the funny talk continues with 5 year old Kiefer and Daddy during the bedtime tuck in….

 

Kiefer: Wonder Woman is a sweetie pie. Only girls can be sweetie pies.

Daddy: Why do you like Wonder Woman? Why is she a sweetie pie?

Kiefer: I like her boobs. Killer boobs!

Daddy: (laughing)

Kiefer: I’m so full of joy!

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Oh, The Funny Things They Say!

A recent conversation with Jason lead to an interesting result. Jason was curious who Dora the Explorer reminded the boys of among their friends, so he figured he’d ask this seemingly innocent question.

 

Daddy: Who does Dora remind you of?

Kiefer: An old ‘gina.

(Kiefer can’t say the word vagina correctly so he cuts it short to ‘gina)

 

NOT what we were expecting to hear from a 5 year old!

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Oh, The Funny Things They Say!

So, I was checking in on Cameron tonight. He had plenty of questions and comments that just got me going.

 

Me: I feel like I’m the luckiest mommy alive to have such wonderful, special boys like you and Kiefer. You make me laugh. You make me smile. You fill my bucket. You are so smart.

Cameron: But what if you’re dead?

(moment of laughter from me)


Me: Why would I be…? Even when I’m dead, I’m always going to love you! But, I’m not going anywhere for a very long time. In fact, I’m sure I’ll be alive to see my grandchildren. You’ll find someone and maybe have children.

Cameron: But, if you are dead, how can I see you?

Me: I won’t be dead. Maybe you’ll find someone when you are in your 20’s. That puts me around 55. I’m still young then.

Cameron: But, what if you are 100?

Me: When I’m 100, you’ll be about 65. You’ll probably have grandchildren of your own by then, and I’ll have great grandchildren.

Cameron: But, I don’t want a baby in my belly!

(Again, more laughter)

Me: Cameron, the girl in your life will be the one with a baby in her belly.

Cameron: OHHH! That’s OK then!

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Oh, The Funny Things They Say!

Today, Cameron and I were shopping at the near by groceries store. We got to talking about strangers and what he should do. It was a random conversation which he started, but it was important so I went with it.

 

Cameron: It’s not good to be nice to strangers.

Me: Well, not exactly. You can be nice, but you shouldn’t be talking to strangers.

Cameron: I shouldn’t talk to strangers because they might take you and make you eat something I don’t like like turkey. I don’t like turkey, but a stranger might tell me, “You have to eat that!” And then the stranger will make me eat it, and I really don’t want turkey. That would be bad!

 

He actually kept on going on with the story, but by this time, I was giggling too much to really understand what he was saying.

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Oh, The Funny Things They Say!

Last night, Jason was putting Cameron to bed, and they were talking about superheroes and where they came from and what their alternative names are. For example: Wonder Woman is Diana Prince and Batman is Bruce Wayne. So, they got to talking about Superman and that he came from Krypton. Cameron had something to say about it.

 

Cameron: Superman is from Krypton.

Jason: Yes, that’s right! He is.

Cameron: Krypton blew up a long long time ago, like last October!

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