Meanwhile, I am SOO FRIGGIN’ ITCHY!!! There are three reasons I am this itchy still. I have acquired more stretch marks on my belly and now on my legs, My edema has gotten worse especially on my legs, and my Pupps is also more wide spread. All this has gotten to the point where I’m about to rip my skin off my body despite the pain and bleeding that would occur. One thing that is frustrating is that this itchyness won’t be going away as soon as these babies come out. The itching will eventually, but not right away. I’ll also be left with tons of stretch marks that will take a very long time to heal and a saggy belly that’ll take a while to also go back to near normal. *sarcasm* OOOO something else to look forward to! Well, there is one thing to look forward to. Even though I’ll be waking up a lot to feed these babies, I’m hoping that the sleep I’ll haveis more restful than what I’m having now. Once this itching goes away, I’ll be able to have a couple of hours of scratch-free sleep and even pee-free sleep! It’ll be a step up from what’s going on now.

My mother is visiting tomorrow and will be around until the 30th. It’ll be nice having her here. Then my hubby’s aunt and uncle are visiting for about a week, maybe more, to help out. That’ll be nice having her here too. I’ll need all the help I can get. My mother will be back on July 12 for a few days to continue helping out. Then my uncle and aunt may be visiting for a day or so on their way to New Jersey like they do every year. That’ll be nice to have them here too. They wouldn’t be coming to help, but more to meet the two new little squirts. My Dad will make a very brief visit this Wednesday. I have mixed feelings about that. Now, I’m ecstatic he’ll be here. I’m looking forward to seeing him, I’d just have wished he’d be hanging around longer. His excuse was that he has tons of patients to see and had to move for this. Not exactly the nice sentiment I was hoping to hear especially since he could have made his visit this Friday and stayed until Sunday when he doesn’t have patients. However, on the other hand, it is somewhat of a special thing to see someone at the hospital. He’ll see me and his two new grandsons before coming home. he won’t be here in time for the birth, but it’s close enough. I never expected him to be here in time for the birth. That would have been a bit too soon especially with his schedule. So, I’m not going to complain. I’m a little disappointed it’ll be such a brief visit while I can’t really see him for long. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him, but he’s coming to see me and the two boys, and it’s really going to be so nice to have him here. I hope to see him again before the end of the year though. At least then I’ll be out of the hospital and be able to give him more attention. I guess I just miss him, and I know he’s really looking forward to meeting his two new grandsons.

When we get home, with the two boys, we plan on making a few trips back home with some clothes and stuff for my dogs to smell so they are at least familiar with what these boys will smell like. I’m SOOO hoping Sparky will welcome them with no problems, but if she’s freaked out, then we’ll just have to do a slow introduction with her. It’ll work out. She’s a good girl and I know she means well. Babies scare her since she was abuse, so she may just get a little concerned at first as to what I’m going to do with her. Nothing of course. I’d never hurt her, but dogs don’t forget as much as people say they do. I remember when I first brought Skye home, she felt replaced and pushed aside. I WILL NOT let her go through that again! It was heart breaking! Eitherway, I’m thinking I’m makign too much of this and the dogs will do what’s right to the best of their ability.

I can’t believe they are not ready to come out at this point. Next week, I have another doctor’s appointment and an NST with an API. The NST is to listen in and make sure they are not stressing out and are doing ok. The API is a visualization to do a brief growth estimate to determine when they may have to come out. I’m seeing my doctor regardless since I had made that appointment before knowing about the NST/API requirements. I’m going to be doing the NSTs and APIs every week until I pop. I also have a follow-up ultrasound in three weeks. I’ll be really surprised if I last that long to me honest with you.

Now,back to the baby shower. One of the games was to guess the due dates, time born, and weights of the babies when they are born. Well, already a few people are out of the pool. Some had guessed they will be under 5 lbs when they are born. LOL, well that ain’t going to happen! I’m thinking about 6 – 7 lbs at least.

Now there is still one concern with Kiefer. His left kidney is still a little dilated. The doctor said that it may be narrowed where the kidney meets the ureter, or reflux. I’m suspecting reflux since the problem goes from one side to the next. If it doesn’t clear up by the time he’s born, they will do a postnatal assessment on him to determine what could be causing his delay with urinating. I hope it’s nothing too serious.  He IS peeing, but it’s just not happening as easily as it should be.

As far as their estimated growth. Cameron’s age is averaging at 36w 1d and Kiefer’s age is estimated at 34w 5d. It appears that Cameron is still 3 weeks ahead but at least he hasn’t gained too much in age. His head is big, however and he’s breech now, so my desire to go for a vaginal birth is probably not going to happen. I think I’m going to be facing a c-section at this point . Oh well, I still can hope, but if I have to do a cesarean, then so be it. It’s the babies’ health that matters here. I will not be able to have a vaginal breech if he’s in the position he’s in any how. There are some breech positions which are not that dangerous to both the mom and baby, but he’s in a slightly tilted Frank breech I believe and that is just not going to happen for me. Kiefer is also breech, but twin B’s are a bit more flexible since there’s often a chance the second baby can change positions last minute due to having all that extra space after twin A is born. As far as Kiefer goes, he’s slowly catching up to Cameron’s estimated age. That makes me happy because he’s definitely getting everything he needs and Cameron is sharing his space well with Kiefer. Though…I think Cameron was kicking Kiefer in the head last week in the sneak peek ultrasound I got from the doctor. Well, what should I expect? They’re boys!

Hmm, so let’s start by saying. I love the new car! We bought it about a month ago and it’s been doing so well! It’s like a ultimate geek car. it may not be suitable for George Jetson, but it’s got it’s major pluses. I love seeing how much mileage we are able to save and if we can beat it every time we drive. It is definitely a very handy took when trying to save some money and gas mileage with the prices going up lately. I know, it’s an SUV so the gas savings aren’t as good as let’s say a Camry hybrid or Prius, but it’s the best out there for an SUV and it’s practical for us because of the upcoming family needs and the two dogs. We needed the space AND the gas savings. We are definitely not disappointed with our choice.

April 20th was a new milestone for me. Know what it was? The first day of my third trimester!!! That’s right!! I finally made it! I can’t believe it. Now it’s time for back aches, hip softening, and leg cramps. OY! I’ve gotten mine with a vengeance. Can you believe it? The boys switched positions. Kiefer is usually on teh right side, but has switched to the left side and Cameron is now on the right side. Both are still head down though, which is good! The not so good part is somehow, their new position has caused my pelvic bone to twist causing incredible pains in my left leg. For a while it was only the sciatica in my right foot. Now that’s nothing compared to the pain in my left thigh!

I went to a physical therapist who determined the possible cause and did some work on my leg and pelvic bone. That helped a lot, but I also got a pair of crutches because I shouldn’t be using the cane as a weight bearing tool, and it will only encourage my pelvic bone to continue twisting. The crutches will at least keep balance and are weight bearing tools. I felt better afterwards at least. I saw my chiropractor the following day. He said my pelvic bone was now twisted the opposite way. Maybe I was still walking on it incorrectly? Well, he adjusted me and my pelvic bone and now I’m pain free. I think between both the PT’s and the Chiro’s adjustments, I have come out of this feeling SO much better. I also think Cameron may have shifted again a little because he did somethign the night after the physical therapist appointment that hurt like a B*TCH along with some obvious tumbling. I’m at least now walking crutch and cane free as long as I don’t walk for too long. Then I need the help of either tool.

My last OB appointment was a bit disappointing. Well, the boys are doing well at least so that’s great news! Kiefer’s kidney that was enlarged last time has gone back to normal, but his other one is now slightly enlarged. The doctor that studied the ultrasound told me that since the bladder and the ureters both look unblocked and normal, that Kiefer is probably just delaying eliminating his urine. It’s still somethign they have to figure out why that is, but it looks like everything is working normally. This doctor is not concerned at this time either. That makes me so happy! Both babies are within normal weight. Cameron is 3 lbs 3 oz while Kiefer is 3 lbs. Can you believe that? I have about 6.3 lbs of baby in me! …and they are still growing! Cameron on this past Tuesday was measuring 31w 3d, and Kiefer was measuring 29w 2d. That means Cameron is averaging about 3 weeks ahead, while Kiefer is measuring about 1 week ahead of schedule.  They are still not out of growth range and are considered normal and very healthy.

I on the other hand had a trace of protein in my urine. I was given that glucose drink for my one hour before I gave the sample, but with the blood draw done an hour later, they determined that I failed the one hour. I failed!!! I haven’t failed anything since college! OY VEI (yes I do have Jewish blood in me, I’m allowed to say that)!! So now I have to go in for the 3 hour GTT on Wednesday. Of course, NOW I have a sweet tooth so I have to pry myself away from the temptations of deserts and cookies. I hope I pass the test. I was only over the limit by a small amount. The limit they set is 140. I was 149. It could have been worse. I’d hate to have to give up my entire diet! …though not much of a diet it was. I know I can stay away from deserts, but I am already limited in what I can eat when I go out, and my body does not react well to changes in certain things. I end up feeling sick with diarrhea, cold sweats, and stomach cramps. Though I CAN deal with diet coke with splenda and other sugar free drinks. I’m still good with water at least.

I just got a disturbing call from my mother telling me my insurance raised my rates $200. WTH!?!? Doesn’t that seem extreme in the middle of the year?  It’s now just about matching my mortgage. It’s over $2,000 a month!!! I can’t handle this crap. What the hell have I done to allow them to up my rates. I haven’t done anything unusual to cause this. They cover me for pregnancy. I confirmed that. That’s the only doctor I’ve seen this whole year on a regular basis. I’ve gone to see the doctor for a possible knee issue, but it was never confirmed because they can’t do an x-ray. Besides, it feels better and I have not had any troubles since. I also went to the skin doctor because of some itching and dry skin on my hands and some acne on my back. The acne is pregnancy related and has gotten much better and the ezcema on my hand is reduced. Though I’m itchy as hell on my pinky, I believe that too is pregnancy related. NONE of these are causes for a price increase. I’ve been to the chiropractor in a regular month to month basis for the past 2 years. Nothing has changed. so why on earth would that have anything to do with it. I don’t know yet, but I’m trying to figure out everything I’ve done medically wise. I haven’t seen my neurologist since last year…since before their last increase. I see him on Tuesday. NOR have I had any relapses or any reason to increase my rates. According to paper work and insurance rules, they are not allowed to increase rates on an individual basis. So are they going to tell me that EVERYONE has had their rates increased? Those in the high risk range got $200 raised beyond what they were paying already? I know I’m about to turn 35 and that’s a new age range. But I’m not 35 yet and they aren’t supposed to change that until the following year! ARGH. There’s nothing I can do until this coming week. I hope it’s something that can be fixed or has a good explanation for all this rediculous rate increase in the middle of the year!

Well, I’m done with the ranting part. I will continue to try to update my blog with any new news and thoughts that come up.

It was kind of funny though. I go there and a woman had just signed in for a dentist appointment and she had twin girls a couple of years ago. The receptionist there just told her I was having twin boys (they love to talk at that place). She went on about a twin mom’s group in the area that I could join that she was a part of. Unfortunately, it’s a little far for me and I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to fit behind the wheel of my car anyhow.
The doctors and assistants and any other co-worker there got wind of my twins and they all came running to see me. It was very sweet. They have all seen me through every miscarriage and every pregnancy. To hear that I was pregnant with twins was a big deal to them. It really felt like a family there and they all wanted to know more about me. I knew about some of their journeys to motherhood or what they are up to in their lives too, so it was actually quite a nice little meeting. I got tons of interesting information from the hygienist there. The dentist assistant came in about three times to see me and ask questions as she was going from one patient to another. Eventually the main dentist came in to look over my teeth and she was so happy to see me and how far along I am. She really couldn’t stop smiling! She herself has had some troubles having a child, so to me, I felt a bit of a connection to her.

Meanwhile, Kiefer, who had not been kicking me for a couple of days now decided it was time to get busy. I had put the protective glasses on my belly since they were fogging up during the teeth scraping. I had forgotten that he didn’t like having anything placed on him and he was trying to kick them off. He wasn’t kicking very hard, but it was a sweet surprise. I removed the glasses and held them instead. I didn’t want to disturb his beauty rest! Well, he decided that wasn’t enough. He decided to go jiffy popping for a little while. It really was such a nice surprise. Meanwhile, Cameron was moving around with his head near my cervix ahead making me laugh through the appointment. The hygienist was getting a kick out of my occasional giggling. Cameron was tickling me…I couldn’t help it!

Well, they wanted to make sure I gave/showed them pictures of the two monkeys (they were calling my boys monkeys…I told you it’s like a family there), or even bring them by. It’s funny how people love seeing babies. The car salesman who sold us our new car made me promise to bring them by three times, and made my hubby promise him another two times. I also now get to show them off to my dentist, who told me she can’t wait to meet them when they get to have their first teeth cleaning.

I got to Duke right on time. I was ready to go. Me and my hubby got taken back in to the main ultrasound room and I was told to lay on the table  with my shirt up and my pants pulled somewhat down. I was already getting excited. I wanted to know so badly what their genders are. I was almost praying, “Gimme a girl! I hope we have a girl!” I mean, we already have a name picked out and thoughts of how it would be to have a girl or two. We want a boy, but also a girl.

So, the ultrasound tech starts with Baby. She went ahead and asked did we want to see their genders. I of course answered calmly (thought felt like jumping with excitement at the thought), “Yes please.” …teehee, I’m so polite. She decided to just go straight for the hotdog search. Low and behold, Baby A was sitting there spread eagle exposing his boy parts for all to see. There was no denying what we saw!!! Oh my! That was awesome! We got ourselves a baby boy! The tech continued on to do the rest of the measurements. Baby A was pretty cooperative and let her see just about everything she needed to. Apparently though, the spine was still too small to count the individual vertebrae and the heart was not a good size for them to measure. I hope there’s nothing wrong, but it looked good on the screen!

On to Baby B! There was a tech in training sitting in the room during the ultrasound. The 1st tech decided to let her have a go at it while she sat in a separate room where she could watch exactly what was going on. That was fine with me, though I could tell she hadn’t been doing this more than a few days. Of course, to make things more difficult, Baby B decided to dance around a bit and hide everything. Baby B put its hands on its face which also in turn shadowed the heart area making it difficult to get a good view of the heart. Also Baby B would cover its genitals and hold the legs together making it difficult to see the privates. With a couple of views, the tech said she saw little boy parts. Not that I didn’t have a feeling this baby was also a boy, but I wanted to make sure. I so wanted a girl, so I just wanted to be 100% sure I had two boys. She wouldn’t zoom in. I’m not sure she knew she could at that point. Well, she continued to get a bunch of other needed measurements and then got the 1st tech to come back in to complete the wiener search. There were some measurements that were still needed. The spine again was too small to count and the heart was a little harder to see for measurements again. Funny enough, for tech #1, Baby B decided to be a bit more generous of his privates and the tech was able to get a great shot. Yep! Definitely a boy! We have two boys! I’ll admit, I did start to tear up. Don’t get me wrong. I am happy we are having two boys, but I really did want a girl too.

Well, all in all, we got two healthy baby boys. Baby A was measuring at 18w 4d and Baby B was measuring at 17w 4d. My appointment was at 17w 4d so Baby A is one week ahead! I have to go back for more measurements soon so I get to see the little fellas again!

I just can’t wait for my February 14th ultrasound appointment. That’s the big appointment where they look over the anatomy of each baby and even determine the gender if the babies cooperate. I hope they do. I really want to know!  It amazes me how much I’m showing. I’m so proud of my belly too. I never thought I’d actually feel proud of how big it is! I’m a bit overweight to begin with so looking at my belly sticking out usually makes me feel fat and not so good about it. But, not I just stare at it in the mirror and smile. I know they are in there. I know why it’s getting bigger. I even hold my belly sometimes and think good thoughts to encourage the babies’ growth and health.  I’ll even talk to them. I know they can’t hear me know, but I can’t help it. I just love them!

The only thing now I’m wondering is..how are the dogs going to react when they see they have a new human family to watch over. Funny thing is, I do feel Sparky will not feel as threatened with her human parents’ children as she does with other people’s children. I feel confident that Skye will also adapt well. But, I can’t help but wonder. No matter what, I’ll make it work!

Well, finally I settled down and she asked me to lay down on the table and loosen my pants. I never had an external ultrasound before so this was a whole new experience for me. She asked me about my MS and how they found out. I decided to tell her from when I first started having my experiences from 2000 up to 2003.

As I was talking away, she went ahead and started to look for the babies. My husband jumped up from his seat and stood next to me. When I felt his arm next to me (I wasn’t paying attention since I was trying to remember how they found out about my MS). At that moment I realized Jason was standing there, the doctor said, “Hey look! He’s doing the mambo!” I turned around and BOOM there was the sweetest site I had ever seen! A baby with two legs, two arms and a head on a body. I never saw more than a blob with a heartbeat! There he was doing some sort of gopher dance while shaking his hips back and forth (I only say him because it just came out that way, I have no clue if it’s a girl or boy). Well, next the doctor looked at the next baby who was directly next to Baby A (the gopher dancing mambo king/queen). This one was not moving too much. I asked the doctor why that is, she said there’s a definite heartbeat and she saw some movement. We think Baby B was sleeping, as they do that from time to time.

I just couldn’t believe my eyes. I felt like I was looking at one of those TV shows on the Discovery Health Channel. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I was looking at my babies. The ones I’ve been wishing for for the past 2 1/2 years! The ones we’ve been trying to have since we first tried to start a family. I know I’m not out of the woods yet. I generally won’t be the entire pregnancy, but I am so relieved just to get to this point. Those are my babies. I am going to be a mom and my husband is going to be a dad. Twins are a lot of work, but all this was so worth the chance to have them. All I can do now, is take care of myself, take care of these babies, and hope for the best.

I have a AFP (Maternal – Alphafetopotein) test next week. I’ll get another ultrasound and a blood test to check for any abnormalities. If anythign shows up abnormal, I’ll probably need to get an amniocentesis where they pull out some of the amniotic fluid from both baby sacs and check for Down’s syndrome and anything else they can find through this means. There’s a small chance of miscarriage so I’m not certain how I feel about it.But the good thing would be, we can find out the sexes a little earlier than the next scheduled ultrasound. The next scheduled ultrasound after the AFP test, is February 14. That one is to check anatomy and gender. There, the sonographer will check all parts, bones, internal organs, and external organs, measure the babies, and make adjustments to the due date if necessary. It’ll be an exciting time! Either way, I am just happy to be where I am. I am looking forward to completing the baby registry and actually being able to plan out the babies’ room.

I am at about 7 wks 5 days at this point. Baby A is measuring at 7 weeks 5 days with a heart rate of 156. Baby B is measuring at 7 weeks 4 days with a heart rate of 150. This is the furthest I’ve ever been! Not to mention the first time I’ve ever had a pregnancy show the fetus at the same age as my actual pregnancy date. So far I’m due July 20. I am also dropped from the office I was at. I was a little disappointed about that. I really liked it there, but they are not an OB/GYN office. They are a reproductive endocrinology office and do not monitor pregnancies….just make them happen!

Well, I am really hoping this is it for me and Jason. We don’t have to go through any more disappointments with my pregnancies. I did tell family and a few friends. I couldn’t help it! I’m excited. My husband is excited as well and will be telling his family. We are just shocked and overwhelmed by the news ourselves.

Now, here’s the big decision to make. I want to finish my externship. I want to graduate and get my certification test out of the way. But, assuming everything still goes well, do I look for a job? Already I’m told I’m high risk, but how high risk I don’t know. I may be asked not to work early on in my pregnancy simply due to the fact I’m having twins. The new place also wants to watch me because of my multiple sclerosis and how that will react to my having twins and visa versa. So, do I take off from looking for work until after I have the babies and go through my own personal maternity leave? Or, do I look and hopefully get a job and risk being told to stop going to work before I’m due? I can always audit a class or two or more from school for free if I take off that much time before looking for a job. But, I won’t be doing anything for so long! I could use the time off, but I haven’t had any work for so long, it would be nice to get back into work responsibilities. There’s the dilemma that I’m facing. I have some time to think about it, so I’m not going to stress over it at this point, but it will be a concern pretty soon.

YAY! I’m having TWINS!

I can’t believe it’s coming up! I’m really looking forward to it. The days do seem to go by really slow which is driving me crazy! You’d think work and daily naps would help the days go by faster, but it’s not making any difference.

Even thought I am worried about what I’m going to see in the ultrasound, I’m excited about it too. Lots of questions will be answered like; Are any of the transfered embryos viable? Do I have twins or am I having one baby? If I am having twins still, how healthy are they? Are the heartbeats going strong? Are they kicking? I also want to know if I’m considered high risk or can I assume this pregnancy is so far good as any healthy pregnancy? Do I have limitations if I’m having twins? How soon could I expect to be noticing a difference in my appearance…assuming I don’t gain the weight other than baby weight? How much weight should I expect to gain keeping my weight in mind when talking about this? When do I find my own OB/GYN? OOO the questions I have. I’m going to drive someone there bonkers with all the questions streaming through my head.

So with that in mind, here are my concerns currently. What about work? I’m starting to feel some morning sickness. I haven’t thrown up, but I’ve been feeling more and more nauseated each day. I am so worried that I’m goign to end up tossing my cookies at work. I may have mentioned this in my last post, but it still is a fear of mine. I work at an OB/GYN office, and I’d hate to call Ralph on the big white phone during an exam. Poor patient would probably think I puked because of the view of her privates! I also don’t want the doctor to find out I’m pregnant that way. What a rude way to find out a secret someone who’s working for you has been carrying around…literally! I could still tell him my concerns while I’m there if I start feeling sick. It’s not like he’d not understand, but I’m not sure it’s appropriate to share somethign like that at the office. My supervisor knows I’m pregnant, so I suppose I could let her know if I think it might be a problem. She is an OB nurse, so she could always advise me on the best thing to do in this situation. Well, so far it hasn’t come to that. It may never become an issue, but it’s very likely especially if I’m having twins.

I worry too much. I can’t help that. I know while at work I’m fighting through my pregnancy brain issues. I’m such a spaz now! I do feel I’m improving in general, but when handing things to the doctor during an exam, I’m not always “there”. I do really try and the doctor is very patient with me. I’m not sure how much patience he will continue to have though. He’s known to be a very patient man. I just nope that is true, because I’m going to need that patience for a while longer.

Well, I’m still looking forward to my internship these next few weeks…assuming I don’t start dropping chunks on the floor…

Well, let’s see. I’m going to start from where I left off last time! The job interview. I got the externship! They weren’t going to take in anyone, but they liked my interview and wanted to help me work in the field. I am SOO excited about that!

Well, I was up for an IVF treatment. Last time I went through this treatment, it took a while for me to be on my Lupron. That’s the leutinizing hormone that normally gets made by the eggs to tell the body to make progesterone…the pregnancy hormone, but I think it works slightly different with IVF. Anyhoo, my doctor ordered a faster protocol with more amounts of the same medication. This meant that I would be going through the actual retrieval/transfer about 2-3 weeks earlier than expected! This means that I’ll be going through my internship right in the middle of when I have miscarried in the past! OH NO!! For now, I figured, let’s just see what happens. 

Let’s talk about the IVF treatment this time around. First, I had a hysteroscopy. The doctor just wanted to make sure everything was clear with a much clearer picture since the last IVF treatment didn’t work. The procedure was fairly painless. It felt like a rough pap smear. The camera used was very small and the whole process was brief. They didn’t have the screen turned in a direction that made it easy to see, but I got that he thought it looked clear since all he kept saying was, “Beautiful! It’s looks beautiful!” So I guess that meant all is clear .

The next thing I was to do was the baseline ultrasound. That went very well. Ultrasounds aren’t normally painful. This was was no exception. Again…all is clear. I started the Lupron and ended my birth control pills. I also took doxycycline to make sure that I don’t have any infections lingering about. My husband had to take the doxy too for his body as well. The next thing to start was the Follistim. That is the follicle stimulating hormone. That one tells the ovaries to start making those follicles/eggs!

I went in for my second ultrasound where they look to find how many follicles are being made. This time, the doctor had to search much deeper in with the ultrasound wand so it hurt a bit…especially on my right side. 7? That was it. 7 follicles between both ovaries, but there were some small ones that were starting to appear. They took an estrodial blood test which tests the levels of the estrogen and it was pretty low. So I was to up the Follistim amount which was already doubled from the last IVF cycle. It wasn’t a lot more but it seemed to be tons. I even had to purchase another Follistim tube because I was low and that stuff is expensive!

I went in for my third ultrasound and again it hurt. Thanks right ovary for hiding again!! They counted 9 follicles this time. That’s almost the same as last time. I’m so bummed! Last time there wasn’t much luck with 8 follicles since only 1 egg divided once it was fertilized. There were still some small ones lingering about and none of them were mature enough to remove so I still had time to see what happens. My estrodial leves were much better so I wasn’t to change a thing.

I went in for my fourth and final ultrasound before trigger day. They counted 11 this time. 11! WOOHOO much better! Now I’m feeling better about my cycle and was so sure I’d have more good eggs to use. They told me to trigger the following day since the majority of my follicles were matured. Saturday was now scheduled for my retrieval.

Saturday came about and I was to be there at 6:30am! HOLY COW! I can’t believe I made it! That’s way too early for me. I suppose that was a good thing because I’d probably sleep through the entire process and not remember a thing. Well, not the case. I was brought in to the room and fed the IV anesthesia. They may as well have done nothing because DAMN did it hurt. I was squirming a bit but I held it in. I do remember I slept through a part of it. I remember the doctor (embryologist) counting in the background, “Egg one,” then I remember her saying “Egg 11″. They removed all 11 eggs! Awesome! So I was brought back to the room. Apparently I started to cry again. Last time I cried a bit, but this time not as badly. Apparently it’s a normal response to both the procedure and the anesthesia. Once of the nurses came in and told me that I had 14 eggs in there, but three of them weren’t mature enough so they left them in there. My body will just reabsorb them. Holy cow! 14 eggs in all! I’m happy with 11 eggs. No complaints here! I’ll find out later that day how many were fertilized.

The next morning (I guess they decided to call me much later), the doctor called and told me they fertilized 9 eggs. Two of them didn’t make it. I thought that was great news! 9 eggs is much better than one egg like last time. Tuesday morning was set for my transfer.

I don’t remember the time it was set for, but the transfer was not as early as the retrieval day. Last time, my bladder was about to burst so I decided to only drink 20 minutes ahead of time instead of 30 minutes. I have to fill my bladder at least half way so it remains straight enough they can see clearly in there. Before taking me into the transfer room, the doctor came in all ready to give me a lecture on why I should accept two eggs. They had 5 really good eggs and 4 good ones. No baddies, which was good. He only got to the part where I was 34 years old and with my miscarriage history he’d recommend two eggs but it’s up to me…..” I cut him off and said without a doubt in my voice, “I want two eggs!” He seemed both surprised and very happy to hear that I didn’t need him to convince me why two eggs are better than one.

Well, I was feeling rather comfortable this time when they took me in. They inserted the speculum and applied the abdominal ultrasound. Last time because my bladder was so full, that was really irritating. This time, apparently, my bladder wasn’t full at all. There was nothing in it. OH NO!! That would probably mean they’d have to make me wait a little longer. I just don’t want to have to go badly through this. I was afraid I was going to pee on the doctor last time! I didn’t want to feel that again. Well, as the doctor got ready, you could see my bladder filling up with urine very quickly. So, there was no need to worry, my bladder worked quickly enough so they could proceed with the transfer. They showed me a picture of the two embryos they were going to transfer. They looked really good from my point of view! The entire procedure didn’t take very long, and I only slightly felt the urge to pee even afterwards. The embryos were transfered without a single problem, so now all I have to do is wait.

That following weekend, my family visited. My mother, my brother with his three boys, and my cousin with her new 3 month old son. Normally, I’d have felt sad through this since I was surrounded by so many very young children when I was still having trouble just getting one of my own. But, to my surprise I was falling in love all over again with the idea that I may still be having kids of my own. I loved having everyone there! Even my brothers middle child who was fussing through a lot of the visit. He just was tired. None of them upset me. I loved having them around. i was impressed by all the different personalities they’ve all grown in to. My youngest nephew had the biggest imagination I’ve seen in a while which was wonderful to see. My oldest nephew used to be a serious fussbucket but he’s become so much calmer and easier to control. Apparently he still has his bad days. The fussy one this trip was the middle nephew. He’s got the middle child syndrome in the worst way. He just needed some personal time and my hubby did a great job offering that time to him and anyone that needed his attention. Even though he did end up cutting some of our fun time short on the one day we all had, I still had a great time with them. Of course, my cousin’s baby didn’t fuss the entire visit. He was an angel. We’ll see how long that lasts! LOL

Monday came around and I had started to feel some boob aches and pelvic pinches since Sunday. I just felt that it was time to test! So that night I got my test out and ready for me to pee on the following morning. I don’t think I waited long enough. I just woke up in the middle of the night and decided to pee in the cup and dip the stick. Then I waited and waited and waited. BIG FAT NEGATIVE! WAHHH!!! I can’t believe it! Not pregnant! I told my hubby the next morning what happened and he was so disappointed. Partially because I didn’t tell him I was going to test. I wanted to surprise him. I guess I did, but not with the news he wanted to hear. I told some forum friends about what happened, and they said I tested too early. I did? That would be great if that’s true! I started to realize that I counted from the retrieval and not the transfer. In that case, I did jump the gun by quite a bit. WHEW! I’m still feeling the pinches by even more now and my boobs are still on and off sore. I’m also really tired. Everything in me tells me I’m pregnant. I may still be fooling myself, because I want this so badly…even twins! But, for now, I’m still waiting to test again. I may try Sunday, or I’ll just wait until Tuesday’s blood test to let me know if I am preggers or not.

Meanwhile, I did call the place where I’ll be interning. I decided to let them know what is going on with me. My supervisor said she really appreciates my honesty and being straight with her. She knows that most people are told not to say anything about their personal lives, but they understand that there.We agreed to have me go there part time. I can change my mind on how many hours I’ll be there per day, but for now, I’ll be there Monday through Thursday 9am to 3pm. I’ll be off Fridays.

I’m so excited about how well this has been going so far. I start my externship next week on Thursday. Next Tuesday is my last day of classes. Once I’ve finished my externship, I just take my certification exam and hopefully become a certified medical assistant. If I do not work at the place I’m interning at, then I will look for a job. My career will at least be on it’s way, and I hope my family life will also be on it’s way.

If this IVF cycle doesn’t work and the frozen cycle doesn’t work. Then my hubby and I agreed on looking into either embryo adoption or live adoption. We’ll also continue to try naturally for a little bit. There’s only so many miscarriages either one of us can take.