What advice you read online

Ok, this could be a big post, but I’ll try to break it up in to many pieces and post them little at a time.

It happens very often, you are at home and your baby is screaming. You aren’t sure what to do cause he’s fed, he’s been changed and it’s time for a nap. So, where do you turn? Pediatrician? Sure, you can do that, but why go through all the fuss for what should be an obvious answer? Your friends? Maybe but the last time you asked for advice you got an ear full off advice that just didn’t work for you such as “let him cry it out” or “just give him the boob”. Then you go online and Google the question, “Why is my 3 month old crying so much?” Then you REALLY get an eye full of possibilities and answers. You thought you had it up to ^ with comments from your friends! All of a sudden, you are more confused now than before you started to ask around. You start contemplating buy a book, or just returning your baby for a refund, it’s all so confusing.

Buying a book is probably a good idea. If anything, it can be used as a reference to go back to if one of the methods it suggests for whatever you want to do is not as easy to follow….or you just forget the steps. Going to your pediatrician is actually a very good idea cause what if your baby is crying because he’s not feeling well. They can give you insight at considering what your baby is crying for and how might you be able to make him feel better whether it be through medicine or a different method of comforting. Googling for answers is a tough one. It gives you the most recent adn personal guide to your problem, but you do have to think, “Who am I getting my answers from?”, “Does this person actually know what she’s doing?” There are so many ways to comfort a child, depending on why he or she is upset. So you are wondering why your child is crying. you look online and someone says, let him cry it out. WHAT!?! Your friend just suggested that too! Why would someone let their kid just scream through the night!?! “Just give him your boob.” WHAT WHAT!?! I need my sleep and so does my baby!? Your friends often get their answers from either their experience or what they read online too. But for experiences, they count the most to me. Each baby is different, but some methods work better and more often than others. Read more

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Where does the time go?!

It’s amazing to me how fast these boys grow. I miss them so much every day, but I look forward to who they become the next. They are almost a year now and I see them becoming little men day by day. Cameron is getting more and more of his little boy features, while Kiefer is striving to walk on his own two feet. They push themselves to be little boys, while I wish they could be my little babies always. I suppose they always will be, but not this way. I do look forward to seeing what they are like as they grow up, start talking, expressing what they want and don’t want. They will become more and more different as they experience new things. Some of those things will be wonderful things, while others…not so wonderful. Some scrapes and bruises, and some achievements and goal setting. It’s all going to be such an incredible journey for all of us.

I may appear all mushy and poetic right now, but I see these boys, look in to their eyes, and I just feel things I never felt before. Every night, I hold the pillow that I use to sleep with closer and closer as I think of my boys. That pillow becomes tortured with my hugs since I need to get those tight hugs out by the end of the night. I can’t hug them that way or they’d be suffocated and squished like bugs! I watch them play with each other and I melt in to goo!!! I’m just so in love with my babies!! I hate to admit this, as I hate admitting it every time I do admit it, but I do kind of look forward to when they occasionally wake up needing some extra cuddles at night. It gives me just one more chance to hold them and kiss them. Kiefer is sooo cuddly when he’s tired and he really loves to give hugs. Cameron loves getting hugged and he really seems to appreciate being sung to during the little late night wake-ups. When I put him to bed, he’s usually not so in to the singing, but he likes to greet the animals in his room and being rocked to bed. Kiefer only likes to be sung to briefly and only when he wakes up in the middle of the night. Luckily for me, on the other hand, they don’t wake up very often. I do need my sleep! They usually sleep well through the night. I just love it though when I do get that last minute cuddle before I go to bed. Read more

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Concerns and Thoughts

Well, I don’t know if I should call it concerns, but these thoughts are on my mind and some of them have made me feel nervous, so concern is the best I can come up with.

I’m at 32 weeks and 3 days. My doctor said to not be surprised if these boys want to come out at around 34 weeks. That’s at least a week and a half away!  Can you believe that? It feels so soon! I mean, I have been waiting a long time for these boys to finish baking and even more so to get pregnant at all! I know I deserve this chance to be a mom, but my life is going to change so fast so much so soon! It honestly scares me. I’m not sitting in some remote corner of my house, rocking back and forth mumbling incomplete thoughts repeatedly over it or anything, but the idea that within one month, my entire life and focus will be changed.

Of course, worries of will I be a good mom, will Jason enjoy his new role as a dad, will my dogs be good girls and welcome these boys into their lives with little to no complications, will these boys be healthy… I could go on. These worries are neverending. Normal worries, I’m sure, but neverending. I guess I have to get used to that too…list of the neverevending worries. It’s part of being a mom I suppose. Read more

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General Thoughts About The Babies

Well, I just felt like talking, so I figured I’d just update you on the what’s going ons about my life at this moment.

NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Yeah, right. as if… LOL! We have been thinking about setting up the babies’ room lately. We’ve gone to Babies-R-Us and picked out a crib (obviously that means two cribs), and crib bedding set, and a stroller.

Well, the cribs look gorgeous! We haven’t actually bought them yet, but they really are so nice! I used to think I had to get the ones that had the sides that lowered down because I was so short. However, this set does not have nay moving parts, but I feel I will be able to reach into the cribs very easily. They are made of pine with the knots still in the wood and are stained a tea stain. It’s not too light, but is very rich looking without being dark colored. Read more

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An Old Childhood Memory

I remember when I was still in grade school, not sure if it was lower or middle school, however…probably early middle. I remember it was lunchtime and I was walking back from getting lunch when I saw this woman holding what appeared to be a doll wrapped in some blankets. It was really small, so I couldn’t believe it was anything else. I was super shy at the time, but I just had to know why this adult was holding a doll like that with no other purpose but to hold it. I decided to approach her and asked nicely, “Can I see it?” She looked at me surprised, but I could see how proud she was to have such a young spectator of her prize in a blanket. She replied, “of course!” and leaned over exposing this little wrapped package. There it was, a new, tiny, pink little baby. It was so small. Barely made any noise, but turned red and squirmed a little bit. Some little baby grunts came out of it’s mouth, but I was just so shocked to see such a tiny baby. Little did the woman know that I had originally thought she was a fraud carrying around this little plastic doll as if it were real only to find out it was her newborn she had taken out for a little fresh air. Read more

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Getting On My Nerves (Motherhood Worries)

Lately I’ve been having these worrisome nerves about starting again. Part of it is the whole tiresome process of the IVF drugs. I can handle the shots, but it’s just a lot of work. There’s timing, and the physical effects.

I then move on to pregnancy. I’m just starting to get into a new career. In fact, I’m supposed to graduate this December. If this IVF treatment works. I’ll be in my 4th or 5th month of pregnancy. Not that I’ll be showing, but it’ll seem so unfair to a new job that I start and then have to take a maternity leave so soon. But, then I remember that that’s how life is sometimes. If you want one thing badly enough, other things may have to be inconvenienced. If I have to, I can always find another job at my convenience. I know I could use the extra financial help though. I’ll survive, I usually do. Read more

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“Do You Have Any Kids?”

This is a question I have come across at times when talking to parents. I’ll admit, I’m an advice giver, and that’s not always welcome. However, sometimes the reactions are just amazingly rude and thoughtless.

Here’s one scenario often raised by parents when talking to a childless person:

A mother and a new friend are talking. Mother mentions how frustrating her 3 year old son Tommy can get when he screams in the toy store, because she won’t let him play with the stuffed animals he reaches for. When she tells him, “No,” he screams. Well, it’s hard for the friend to hear her mother friend in distress. Friend has been having troubles getting pregnant herself. She’s read a lot of books about child rearing, babysat a lot of babies in her life time, and has a niece and nephew by her nearby sister that are 1 and 4 years old. She often sees them and is a constant source of attention and second mom to them. She decides to offer her mother friend some advice on disciplining her child in a public place. Mother doesn’t like being told what to do by a childless parent and immediately gets defensive and asks the sarcastic and offensive question, “Do you have any kids?” This becomes a very painful reminder to her new friend that she has been unable to have kids. She also feels a bit belittled that the mother friend has completely cast aside all knowledge of her past with children and has proceeded to insult her instead.

Now who is right or wrong with their reactions in this situation? Read more

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