She recently has been to the vet who found that she has arthritis in both her back hips, she’s losing her hearing (quickly it seems), and she’s starting to lose her eyesight. She’s also got asthmatic bronchitis, OCD (osteochondritis) in her shoulder, and more arthritis in her elbow. Meanwhile, she’s got babies to share her attention with. We are moving…yet again. Her world around her is just so uncertain these days. She seems to put up with everything so well, but yet, she’s getting old and things are going to get harder and harder for her to deal with. I’m just hoping the new house has a yard she can get some energy out in. She doesnt’ have much time left in her before she won’t be able to take advantage of the freedom of a fenced in back yard. We don’t have one in this house adn she really needs one. She may not be able to run like she wants to, but she’ll have the freedom to do whatever she’s capable of then. Skye can also get some bottled up energy out. She needs to so badly! She’s young enough where she’s got a few years left of that energy to burn off.

I just hope that Sparky is able to deal with all this change a little longer. I’m going to miss her sooooo terribly much when she passes. That time is getting nearer and I’m so afraid of it. I don’t know how well I will be able to handle it. She was my first baby. We shared so much together.I taught her so much, and she taught me in return. She’s so special to me, but these days I have not been able to show it. I know this hurts her. I know she doesn’t understand what’s really going on here. She is not very baby friendly, but she’s doing her best to respect their existence here. I’m so proud of her for getting this far. She’s trusting me so much that i will not smack her around the babies like her first family did. I would never hurt her. She does act up around them unfortunately though. She’s never hurt them, but she’s gotten snippy towards them and I let her know I do not like that behavior. I just keep in mind how she’s refraining from doing anything more than a snip in the air. I dont’ let her stay around them alone at least. Skye, loves these boys and has been a angel around them. I’m not worried about her. I’m actually more concerned with her pruning them than biting.

Every day, however, I do try to give Sparky some attention to remind her that she is still special to me. I jsut hope she sees that she is so dear to me. I love her so much!

I may appear all mushy and poetic right now, but I see these boys, look in to their eyes, and I just feel things I never felt before. Every night, I hold the pillow that I use to sleep with closer and closer as I think of my boys. That pillow becomes tortured with my hugs since I need to get those tight hugs out by the end of the night. I can’t hug them that way or they’d be suffocated and squished like bugs! I watch them play with each other and I melt in to goo!!! I’m just so in love with my babies!! I hate to admit this, as I hate admitting it every time I do admit it, but I do kind of look forward to when they occasionally wake up needing some extra cuddles at night. It gives me just one more chance to hold them and kiss them. Kiefer is sooo cuddly when he’s tired and he really loves to give hugs. Cameron loves getting hugged and he really seems to appreciate being sung to during the little late night wake-ups. When I put him to bed, he’s usually not so in to the singing, but he likes to greet the animals in his room and being rocked to bed. Kiefer only likes to be sung to briefly and only when he wakes up in the middle of the night. Luckily for me, on the other hand, they don’t wake up very often. I do need my sleep! They usually sleep well through the night. I just love it though when I do get that last minute cuddle before I go to bed.

I love watching them learn new things. Kiefer has been climbing up the stairs like a champ. He’s fast too! He’s also learned to take a couple of steps. He’s going to be walking before I know it! Cameron has learned to stand up finally, adn he too has learned to climb the stairs. He learned that one before standing! Kiefer got his first tooth recently. Cameron followed with a tooth soon afterwards…then suddenly another tooth! Neither of them fussed! I was so sure I was going to have a few sleepless nights, but nope, these boys slept so well and were all smiles and giggles! Kiefer is drooling waterfalls, but Cameron only gives a little cough here and there. I guess they both have a good tolerance for pain! Today they got their first hair cuts. They were so good! The hair cutters both said they were sitting like 2 year olds they were being so good! Barely a whine. they just got a little fussy towards the end. Cameron was a little freaked out by the electric shaver used to straighten the ends of his hair, so that made him cry a little but was all right after the noise stopped. Kiefer got a little fussy towards the ends cause he wanted to get up and move, but he was happy once he got out of the chair. The hair cutter actually went to play with him while I paid for the hair cuts. They took before and after pictures for us too. It was a lot of fun! I’ll be going back there for their next hair cuts.

We don’t have much planned for their 1 year birthday. I feel bad for that since they will turn 1 years old only once in their lives, and it’s a big number! We do have my in-laws coming a few days later which should be nice. My mother does not think she can make it. My friend wanted to come, but I am in the middle of moving and I don’t know exactly what is going to be going on then…well, I didn’t know at the time when she asked, but now it’s going to be fairly quiet that weekend. We’ll take pictures once everyone is here. On their birthday, I do want to do something for them. Maybe give them their first taste of ice cream or something along those lines. We’ll make it special somehow.

Meanwhile, I am SOO FRIGGIN’ ITCHY!!! There are three reasons I am this itchy still. I have acquired more stretch marks on my belly and now on my legs, My edema has gotten worse especially on my legs, and my Pupps is also more wide spread. All this has gotten to the point where I’m about to rip my skin off my body despite the pain and bleeding that would occur. One thing that is frustrating is that this itchyness won’t be going away as soon as these babies come out. The itching will eventually, but not right away. I’ll also be left with tons of stretch marks that will take a very long time to heal and a saggy belly that’ll take a while to also go back to near normal. *sarcasm* OOOO something else to look forward to! Well, there is one thing to look forward to. Even though I’ll be waking up a lot to feed these babies, I’m hoping that the sleep I’ll haveis more restful than what I’m having now. Once this itching goes away, I’ll be able to have a couple of hours of scratch-free sleep and even pee-free sleep! It’ll be a step up from what’s going on now.

My mother is visiting tomorrow and will be around until the 30th. It’ll be nice having her here. Then my hubby’s aunt and uncle are visiting for about a week, maybe more, to help out. That’ll be nice having her here too. I’ll need all the help I can get. My mother will be back on July 12 for a few days to continue helping out. Then my uncle and aunt may be visiting for a day or so on their way to New Jersey like they do every year. That’ll be nice to have them here too. They wouldn’t be coming to help, but more to meet the two new little squirts. My Dad will make a very brief visit this Wednesday. I have mixed feelings about that. Now, I’m ecstatic he’ll be here. I’m looking forward to seeing him, I’d just have wished he’d be hanging around longer. His excuse was that he has tons of patients to see and had to move for this. Not exactly the nice sentiment I was hoping to hear especially since he could have made his visit this Friday and stayed until Sunday when he doesn’t have patients. However, on the other hand, it is somewhat of a special thing to see someone at the hospital. He’ll see me and his two new grandsons before coming home. he won’t be here in time for the birth, but it’s close enough. I never expected him to be here in time for the birth. That would have been a bit too soon especially with his schedule. So, I’m not going to complain. I’m a little disappointed it’ll be such a brief visit while I can’t really see him for long. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him, but he’s coming to see me and the two boys, and it’s really going to be so nice to have him here. I hope to see him again before the end of the year though. At least then I’ll be out of the hospital and be able to give him more attention. I guess I just miss him, and I know he’s really looking forward to meeting his two new grandsons.

When we get home, with the two boys, we plan on making a few trips back home with some clothes and stuff for my dogs to smell so they are at least familiar with what these boys will smell like. I’m SOOO hoping Sparky will welcome them with no problems, but if she’s freaked out, then we’ll just have to do a slow introduction with her. It’ll work out. She’s a good girl and I know she means well. Babies scare her since she was abuse, so she may just get a little concerned at first as to what I’m going to do with her. Nothing of course. I’d never hurt her, but dogs don’t forget as much as people say they do. I remember when I first brought Skye home, she felt replaced and pushed aside. I WILL NOT let her go through that again! It was heart breaking! Eitherway, I’m thinking I’m makign too much of this and the dogs will do what’s right to the best of their ability.

The second dream took place in a high tech research lab. The characters were a woman actress that I have recently seen in some techie show on TV, but i do not remember her name. The other character was Micheal J. Fox. I have no idea why it was him, but my guess was his movie personality fit the character my mind was conjuring up. They were working together on building something, when the woman tech asked Micheal J Fox to fix her high tech watch. He took the watch to his table and my view of the dream went to a close up of the watch face and Micheal working on the watch. That was it. Seemed pretty insignificant, but I still remembered the dream. I decided to ignore it when I woke up since it made no sense to me and I figured it was just a funny dream.

Third dream took place at my baby shower. My mother, SIL, her son, Aunt S., Aunt J., cousin A., her baby boy, and myself all placed in my family room talking and opening gifts. I know more are supposed to be there, but that’s all I saw in my dream. There were decorations my hubby placed around the house and there was food in the next room. Everything was as it was supposed to be. At first, I was lying down on the couch, but then I appeared on the recliner with my feet up. I started to feel a slight contraction, but chose not to say anything. I looked at my watch (which I never wear) and figured to time it…just in case. Another contraction came about 15 minutes later so not too much of a concern yet. Besides, it was a light contraction so no one knew about what was going on. They all went about their business with enjoying the shower. But, I suddenly broke my water. That when things got messy. I got up with help. Yelled out to my hubby to get the hospital bag (which I still haven’t packed), the computer, and my cell phone. I think it was my cousin who stayed behind to feed and walk my dogs. My Aunt J drove us to the hospital since it seemed to be the first car we got to, and besides, it just seemed to be the best option. She drove off with my hubby and I and that’s when I woke up.

Now at first, I was assuming the only real important dream was the baby shower dream. I was happy. Family was around during this big event. Things seemed to go so easily without having to worry about my car nor my dogs. But that wasn’t the entire point of the dream. it stayed with me. I had somethign else in mind. I figured then, part of the dream was also about my concerns about the babies coming early. My baby shower falls on 32w 6d which is very close to birth day for these boys. Also, a story my cousin told me about her day of labor and how her boy came early and without warning. She just went in to labor after her doctor checked her out and told her everything looks normal. She wasn’t having any signs of pre-term labor. She just went into labor later that day and out can her baby boy starting that day…at her hospital of course. I guess that story just kind of hit me that I just may not know when they are coming and if they come ahead of time, and I may not have much of a warning before contractions start.

I figured that must have been it. I was worried about when they are coming, will I be prepared, and the idea of having family there to share my experience. But still that wasn’t enough. I just pushed it out of my head. Later on, I told my hubby about these dreams.  That’s when it hit me! That dream about the two actors was not insignificant to my dream. It was a set up for the following dream. I am not sure why those actors were chosen, but the watch was the important part. The research lab was again some set up for the inner workings of my body. The actors may have just been playing a couple of roles of my inner thoughts and inner clock..so to speak. The watch had to have special attention to it. It wasn’t really broken, but it needed my focus. Time is running out and these babies are going to come soon. May not be tomorrow, but soon. So the setup was, first my focus on the time left of this pregnancy, then my dreams were telling me this is going to happen. Now, I’m not saying it will happen during my baby shower. I don’t think that was important really, but it was addressing a desire and a concern of mine, not to mention the main reason was that the time I was concerned with in the previous dream was all about the babies’ births. They are coming whether I am prepared or not so get to it!

Hmm, so let’s start by saying. I love the new car! We bought it about a month ago and it’s been doing so well! It’s like a ultimate geek car. it may not be suitable for George Jetson, but it’s got it’s major pluses. I love seeing how much mileage we are able to save and if we can beat it every time we drive. It is definitely a very handy took when trying to save some money and gas mileage with the prices going up lately. I know, it’s an SUV so the gas savings aren’t as good as let’s say a Camry hybrid or Prius, but it’s the best out there for an SUV and it’s practical for us because of the upcoming family needs and the two dogs. We needed the space AND the gas savings. We are definitely not disappointed with our choice.

April 20th was a new milestone for me. Know what it was? The first day of my third trimester!!! That’s right!! I finally made it! I can’t believe it. Now it’s time for back aches, hip softening, and leg cramps. OY! I’ve gotten mine with a vengeance. Can you believe it? The boys switched positions. Kiefer is usually on teh right side, but has switched to the left side and Cameron is now on the right side. Both are still head down though, which is good! The not so good part is somehow, their new position has caused my pelvic bone to twist causing incredible pains in my left leg. For a while it was only the sciatica in my right foot. Now that’s nothing compared to the pain in my left thigh!

I went to a physical therapist who determined the possible cause and did some work on my leg and pelvic bone. That helped a lot, but I also got a pair of crutches because I shouldn’t be using the cane as a weight bearing tool, and it will only encourage my pelvic bone to continue twisting. The crutches will at least keep balance and are weight bearing tools. I felt better afterwards at least. I saw my chiropractor the following day. He said my pelvic bone was now twisted the opposite way. Maybe I was still walking on it incorrectly? Well, he adjusted me and my pelvic bone and now I’m pain free. I think between both the PT’s and the Chiro’s adjustments, I have come out of this feeling SO much better. I also think Cameron may have shifted again a little because he did somethign the night after the physical therapist appointment that hurt like a B*TCH along with some obvious tumbling. I’m at least now walking crutch and cane free as long as I don’t walk for too long. Then I need the help of either tool.

My last OB appointment was a bit disappointing. Well, the boys are doing well at least so that’s great news! Kiefer’s kidney that was enlarged last time has gone back to normal, but his other one is now slightly enlarged. The doctor that studied the ultrasound told me that since the bladder and the ureters both look unblocked and normal, that Kiefer is probably just delaying eliminating his urine. It’s still somethign they have to figure out why that is, but it looks like everything is working normally. This doctor is not concerned at this time either. That makes me so happy! Both babies are within normal weight. Cameron is 3 lbs 3 oz while Kiefer is 3 lbs. Can you believe that? I have about 6.3 lbs of baby in me! …and they are still growing! Cameron on this past Tuesday was measuring 31w 3d, and Kiefer was measuring 29w 2d. That means Cameron is averaging about 3 weeks ahead, while Kiefer is measuring about 1 week ahead of schedule.  They are still not out of growth range and are considered normal and very healthy.

I on the other hand had a trace of protein in my urine. I was given that glucose drink for my one hour before I gave the sample, but with the blood draw done an hour later, they determined that I failed the one hour. I failed!!! I haven’t failed anything since college! OY VEI (yes I do have Jewish blood in me, I’m allowed to say that)!! So now I have to go in for the 3 hour GTT on Wednesday. Of course, NOW I have a sweet tooth so I have to pry myself away from the temptations of deserts and cookies. I hope I pass the test. I was only over the limit by a small amount. The limit they set is 140. I was 149. It could have been worse. I’d hate to have to give up my entire diet! …though not much of a diet it was. I know I can stay away from deserts, but I am already limited in what I can eat when I go out, and my body does not react well to changes in certain things. I end up feeling sick with diarrhea, cold sweats, and stomach cramps. Though I CAN deal with diet coke with splenda and other sugar free drinks. I’m still good with water at least.

I just got a disturbing call from my mother telling me my insurance raised my rates $200. WTH!?!? Doesn’t that seem extreme in the middle of the year?  It’s now just about matching my mortgage. It’s over $2,000 a month!!! I can’t handle this crap. What the hell have I done to allow them to up my rates. I haven’t done anything unusual to cause this. They cover me for pregnancy. I confirmed that. That’s the only doctor I’ve seen this whole year on a regular basis. I’ve gone to see the doctor for a possible knee issue, but it was never confirmed because they can’t do an x-ray. Besides, it feels better and I have not had any troubles since. I also went to the skin doctor because of some itching and dry skin on my hands and some acne on my back. The acne is pregnancy related and has gotten much better and the ezcema on my hand is reduced. Though I’m itchy as hell on my pinky, I believe that too is pregnancy related. NONE of these are causes for a price increase. I’ve been to the chiropractor in a regular month to month basis for the past 2 years. Nothing has changed. so why on earth would that have anything to do with it. I don’t know yet, but I’m trying to figure out everything I’ve done medically wise. I haven’t seen my neurologist since last year…since before their last increase. I see him on Tuesday. NOR have I had any relapses or any reason to increase my rates. According to paper work and insurance rules, they are not allowed to increase rates on an individual basis. So are they going to tell me that EVERYONE has had their rates increased? Those in the high risk range got $200 raised beyond what they were paying already? I know I’m about to turn 35 and that’s a new age range. But I’m not 35 yet and they aren’t supposed to change that until the following year! ARGH. There’s nothing I can do until this coming week. I hope it’s something that can be fixed or has a good explanation for all this rediculous rate increase in the middle of the year!

Well, I’m done with the ranting part. I will continue to try to update my blog with any new news and thoughts that come up.

I just can’t wait for my February 14th ultrasound appointment. That’s the big appointment where they look over the anatomy of each baby and even determine the gender if the babies cooperate. I hope they do. I really want to know!  It amazes me how much I’m showing. I’m so proud of my belly too. I never thought I’d actually feel proud of how big it is! I’m a bit overweight to begin with so looking at my belly sticking out usually makes me feel fat and not so good about it. But, not I just stare at it in the mirror and smile. I know they are in there. I know why it’s getting bigger. I even hold my belly sometimes and think good thoughts to encourage the babies’ growth and health.  I’ll even talk to them. I know they can’t hear me know, but I can’t help it. I just love them!

The only thing now I’m wondering is..how are the dogs going to react when they see they have a new human family to watch over. Funny thing is, I do feel Sparky will not feel as threatened with her human parents’ children as she does with other people’s children. I feel confident that Skye will also adapt well. But, I can’t help but wonder. No matter what, I’ll make it work!

Well, finally I settled down and she asked me to lay down on the table and loosen my pants. I never had an external ultrasound before so this was a whole new experience for me. She asked me about my MS and how they found out. I decided to tell her from when I first started having my experiences from 2000 up to 2003.

As I was talking away, she went ahead and started to look for the babies. My husband jumped up from his seat and stood next to me. When I felt his arm next to me (I wasn’t paying attention since I was trying to remember how they found out about my MS). At that moment I realized Jason was standing there, the doctor said, “Hey look! He’s doing the mambo!” I turned around and BOOM there was the sweetest site I had ever seen! A baby with two legs, two arms and a head on a body. I never saw more than a blob with a heartbeat! There he was doing some sort of gopher dance while shaking his hips back and forth (I only say him because it just came out that way, I have no clue if it’s a girl or boy). Well, next the doctor looked at the next baby who was directly next to Baby A (the gopher dancing mambo king/queen). This one was not moving too much. I asked the doctor why that is, she said there’s a definite heartbeat and she saw some movement. We think Baby B was sleeping, as they do that from time to time.

I just couldn’t believe my eyes. I felt like I was looking at one of those TV shows on the Discovery Health Channel. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I was looking at my babies. The ones I’ve been wishing for for the past 2 1/2 years! The ones we’ve been trying to have since we first tried to start a family. I know I’m not out of the woods yet. I generally won’t be the entire pregnancy, but I am so relieved just to get to this point. Those are my babies. I am going to be a mom and my husband is going to be a dad. Twins are a lot of work, but all this was so worth the chance to have them. All I can do now, is take care of myself, take care of these babies, and hope for the best.

I have a AFP (Maternal – Alphafetopotein) test next week. I’ll get another ultrasound and a blood test to check for any abnormalities. If anythign shows up abnormal, I’ll probably need to get an amniocentesis where they pull out some of the amniotic fluid from both baby sacs and check for Down’s syndrome and anything else they can find through this means. There’s a small chance of miscarriage so I’m not certain how I feel about it.But the good thing would be, we can find out the sexes a little earlier than the next scheduled ultrasound. The next scheduled ultrasound after the AFP test, is February 14. That one is to check anatomy and gender. There, the sonographer will check all parts, bones, internal organs, and external organs, measure the babies, and make adjustments to the due date if necessary. It’ll be an exciting time! Either way, I am just happy to be where I am. I am looking forward to completing the baby registry and actually being able to plan out the babies’ room.

I can’t believe it’s coming up! I’m really looking forward to it. The days do seem to go by really slow which is driving me crazy! You’d think work and daily naps would help the days go by faster, but it’s not making any difference.

Even thought I am worried about what I’m going to see in the ultrasound, I’m excited about it too. Lots of questions will be answered like; Are any of the transfered embryos viable? Do I have twins or am I having one baby? If I am having twins still, how healthy are they? Are the heartbeats going strong? Are they kicking? I also want to know if I’m considered high risk or can I assume this pregnancy is so far good as any healthy pregnancy? Do I have limitations if I’m having twins? How soon could I expect to be noticing a difference in my appearance…assuming I don’t gain the weight other than baby weight? How much weight should I expect to gain keeping my weight in mind when talking about this? When do I find my own OB/GYN? OOO the questions I have. I’m going to drive someone there bonkers with all the questions streaming through my head.

So with that in mind, here are my concerns currently. What about work? I’m starting to feel some morning sickness. I haven’t thrown up, but I’ve been feeling more and more nauseated each day. I am so worried that I’m goign to end up tossing my cookies at work. I may have mentioned this in my last post, but it still is a fear of mine. I work at an OB/GYN office, and I’d hate to call Ralph on the big white phone during an exam. Poor patient would probably think I puked because of the view of her privates! I also don’t want the doctor to find out I’m pregnant that way. What a rude way to find out a secret someone who’s working for you has been carrying around…literally! I could still tell him my concerns while I’m there if I start feeling sick. It’s not like he’d not understand, but I’m not sure it’s appropriate to share somethign like that at the office. My supervisor knows I’m pregnant, so I suppose I could let her know if I think it might be a problem. She is an OB nurse, so she could always advise me on the best thing to do in this situation. Well, so far it hasn’t come to that. It may never become an issue, but it’s very likely especially if I’m having twins.

I worry too much. I can’t help that. I know while at work I’m fighting through my pregnancy brain issues. I’m such a spaz now! I do feel I’m improving in general, but when handing things to the doctor during an exam, I’m not always “there”. I do really try and the doctor is very patient with me. I’m not sure how much patience he will continue to have though. He’s known to be a very patient man. I just nope that is true, because I’m going to need that patience for a while longer.

Well, I’m still looking forward to my internship these next few weeks…assuming I don’t start dropping chunks on the floor…