Christmas 2010

I cannot believe it! It’s been too long since I’ve posted here! 18 months was the last one? Holy heck, where have I been? Oh yeah, in toddlerville.

It’s been too long. Sorry about that! They are now 2-1/2 years old and in preschool, can you believe that? They are loving it!! So am I! Time off is like heaven to me. Don’t get me wrong, they are the coolest couple of kids you’d ever meet, but time off is precious around here. They are all over the place. Talking up a storm and learning so much. They can count…mostly. Cameron is very good at it and enjoys counting. He knows the entire alphabet. He’s starting to recognize letters and he recognizes most numbers that he sees. He sings songs that he’s heard maybe once or twice in his lifetime. He seems to read books occasionally, but I am a bit in disbelief on that one. It just seems like it cause he’ll pick up a book he hadn’t seem in months and tell me the title. I can understand about 90% of what he says. He’s putting so many words together in coherent sentences, I’m totally flabbergasted every time he speaks up. Kiefer is getting much better. I understand about 65% of what he says. Maybe a little more on good days. He sings…or at least tries to sing. He has a hard time sticking with the tune, but you can tell what he’s trying to sing at least. He’s gotten very clingy to me, which I’m not at all upset about. Cameron wants nothing to do with me most of the time. At night, both boys want their daddy to put them to bed. I’m still waiting for them to ask for me. It’s an extreme rarity. I think both have asked once in their lifetime for me to put them to bed. It breaks my heart, but I know I’ll get my time some day.

They are starting potty training. That’s a hoot. OK, not really. They started out ok, but then we had construction in the house and went on vacation in the middle of it, and it kind of messed things up. Now they don’t want to use the toilet or potty unless they are taking a bath. They have no trouble using the toilets at school….just not here. One day, I’m going to have to surprise them with undies only. I’m going to have to get my cleaning supplies out and ready for those days. I don’t look forward to that, but I am hoping for good results. They both think the pull-up is a diaper and use it as such. But, I know Kiefer does not like it when he’s naked and goes on the floor. He freaks out if he sees doody on the floor. I’m hoping that’ll encourage him to use the potty once the undies are on. Cameron, I’m not sure how much he cares if he’s gone on the floor. All I know is they have to be trained by 3 years old. They can still be in pull-ups in pre-k, but they’d like them to be able to wear undies during the day time, pull-ups at nap. I’m not in a huge rush yet. They have until June to learn to use the potty. But wouldn’t it be nice if I didn’t have to change so many diapers/pull-ups any more….

I’ve learned as they get into the kitchen cabinets and drawers that they like jobs. I tell them to throw somethign out or get somethign for me, they love it. Absolutely love knowing they can help. They don’t get in to as much stuff if I have a job for them. I still don’t cook much though. I feel awful about that one, but I don’t cook. I have to face the fact that I will never love it. I just need to learn how to do it on a timely basis and plan my meals. I have never had to plan them before. I know how to organized the time, but I just don’t know how to keep them occupied while I cook without them getting their hands on the stove top, in the oven, or in a drawer. So, I tend to hold off as long as I can. Sometimes their daddy is available to help. It’s still difficult.

Speaking of dogs, I have since lost my dog, Sparky. She’s gone to rainbow bridge. I am now in possession of her ashes. It’s still sad, but I feel good at the same time. I feel like this is what she wanted. I got that feeling from the day she was supposed to be put down. We were planning on a Wednesday, but Kiefer got sick just as we were about to go to the vet’s. Well, we rescheduled for that Friday. No one got sick so off we went. On that Wednesday, however, I saw the look on her face. She actually looked disappointed. She was so ready to go. The next day, it was like looking at a ghost. She was not supposed to be there. Her spirit was already halfway out the door! Friday came and she wanted to get into the vet’s office. She doesn’t like the vet’s very much, but she knew why she was there. It was a sad day for me. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. But, by the look on her face, she was at peace. Skye has been missing her terribly. She’s had a few acupuncture appointments since and that has helped her out tons. She now has some liver and pancreas problems to work through and a wound on her nose from surgery. She had a suspicious mole on her nose removed. We have yet to get the results of the biopsy. She’s still having trouble eating, but she does eat at least. She’s getting old. I’m not sure how long Skye will be with us, but I’m hoping for a couple of years at least. She’s not as interested in the boys as she used to be. I accept that. She’s used to being alone all this time because of Sparky, but it’s sad to see her be so aloof around the boys as they love her so much. She will lick them and play a little with them, but then it’s back in to her room. The boys ask about Sparky. It’ hard as they don’t understand death yet. They accept it when I tell them she’s not here anymore. They just love Skye though and do ask for her some times.

I may appear all mushy and poetic right now, but I see these boys, look in to their eyes, and I just feel things I never felt before. Every night, I hold the pillow that I use to sleep with closer and closer as I think of my boys. That pillow becomes tortured with my hugs since I need to get those tight hugs out by the end of the night. I can’t hug them that way or they’d be suffocated and squished like bugs! I watch them play with each other and I melt in to goo!!! I’m just so in love with my babies!! I hate to admit this, as I hate admitting it every time I do admit it, but I do kind of look forward to when they occasionally wake up needing some extra cuddles at night. It gives me just one more chance to hold them and kiss them. Kiefer is sooo cuddly when he’s tired and he really loves to give hugs. Cameron loves getting hugged and he really seems to appreciate being sung to during the little late night wake-ups. When I put him to bed, he’s usually not so in to the singing, but he likes to greet the animals in his room and being rocked to bed. Kiefer only likes to be sung to briefly and only when he wakes up in the middle of the night. Luckily for me, on the other hand, they don’t wake up very often. I do need my sleep! They usually sleep well through the night. I just love it though when I do get that last minute cuddle before I go to bed.

I love watching them learn new things. Kiefer has been climbing up the stairs like a champ. He’s fast too! He’s also learned to take a couple of steps. He’s going to be walking before I know it! Cameron has learned to stand up finally, adn he too has learned to climb the stairs. He learned that one before standing! Kiefer got his first tooth recently. Cameron followed with a tooth soon afterwards…then suddenly another tooth! Neither of them fussed! I was so sure I was going to have a few sleepless nights, but nope, these boys slept so well and were all smiles and giggles! Kiefer is drooling waterfalls, but Cameron only gives a little cough here and there. I guess they both have a good tolerance for pain! Today they got their first hair cuts. They were so good! The hair cutters both said they were sitting like 2 year olds they were being so good! Barely a whine. they just got a little fussy towards the end. Cameron was a little freaked out by the electric shaver used to straighten the ends of his hair, so that made him cry a little but was all right after the noise stopped. Kiefer got a little fussy towards the ends cause he wanted to get up and move, but he was happy once he got out of the chair. The hair cutter actually went to play with him while I paid for the hair cuts. They took before and after pictures for us too. It was a lot of fun! I’ll be going back there for their next hair cuts.

We don’t have much planned for their 1 year birthday. I feel bad for that since they will turn 1 years old only once in their lives, and it’s a big number! We do have my in-laws coming a few days later which should be nice. My mother does not think she can make it. My friend wanted to come, but I am in the middle of moving and I don’t know exactly what is going to be going on then…well, I didn’t know at the time when she asked, but now it’s going to be fairly quiet that weekend. We’ll take pictures once everyone is here. On their birthday, I do want to do something for them. Maybe give them their first taste of ice cream or something along those lines. We’ll make it special somehow.

Well, part of the growing up comes with some difficulties. They don’t sleep as easily as they did when they first learned they could sleep through the night. Cameron wakes up needing his paci a lot and even a drink in the middle of the night. I know, I know, tis the time for developmental growth and with that comes restless sleep. But for 2 months now, Cameron just hasn’t gotten a great night’s sleep, ‘cept on a rare occasion. So , now between 1am and 3am, Cameron will wake up wanting his bottle. I must confess something though. I hate that I have to wake up, but to see his beautiful face and be able to look at him, watching him drink, I feel like I get to have a special moment with him. One time, he slept through the night, and I actually missed that moment we have been sharing. He was the fussy baby as a newborn, but now, he’s such a happy boy. I’ll admit, getting him to bed was difficult. He’d cry and cry and cry. We had to just let him cry it out. After about 1 1/2 weeks, he started to calm down and not cry so much when we put him to bed for either a nap or bedtime. It’s gotten so much easier to get him to rest, and he’s a much happier baby through the day now that he’s willing to nap.

Cameron loves to talk. He recently started to talk to Kiefer and us by clearing his throat. It was funny to watch, however, the sound was annoying. But, his babbling was music to my ears! He’s been eating solids like a champ. He get 2 – 3 servings of Earth’s Best Organic level 2 food. Mostly the combination stuff. He is the champion eater. He doesn’t make too many messes and swallows his food easily. Well, part of that is a little lie. He recently learned it’s fun to blow raspberries with his food. That way, food goes spraying all over the place and mommy is laughing so hard she can’t serve him food until she calms down. He thinks it’s the best thing since sliced bread…which he has yet to discover. He’s also figured out how to drink from a sippy cup. One very proud milestone he’s recently achieved is getting on his hands and knees and rocking back and forth. He’s almost crawling!! What a big boy he is! He’s getting very good at scooting and flipping around to get to where he wants to go. I suspect any day now, he’ll be adding crawling to his list of achievements. He’s learning how to sit up on his own. He’s doing ok, he’s just got some more balancing to go. He’s also discovered how fun it is to play with his feet. I think it’s adorable to see him have so much fun with his feet. It’s different than him playing with his winky. He discovered that a long time ago. He still watches himself pee in the tub, but he has decided it isn’t as much fun to play with as chewing on his bath toys. His hair is growing ok. He’s got a rat tail on the back of his head. Hubby wants me to cut it off though. I’m partially delaying, but I also forget to do it. His head is starting to shape better. He’s got plagiocephaly where his head is flat on the back right of his head causing a slit tilt in his head position and his ears. His ears have straightened out and his head is rounded over top, but he still is fairly flat on his back right head. It’s getting better though now that he sleeps on his belly and has been enjoying belly time a lot. He’s not very often on his back now, so that flat part should clear up soon.

Kiefer is doing great. He’s learning so fast. He learned to scoot much earlier than Cameron. Basically, he had the motivation to. He loves to play with everything he sees. He’s learned how to open the entertainment unit doors already. His favorite game is to copy our tapping on the floor with his hands. His recent achievement is sitting up on his own. Well, he gets laid on his back on his boppy and he’ll sit up. It won’t be long until he learns to do that from the floor. He sleeps very well at night. Kiefer is the champion sleeper compared to his brother. He doesn’t usually wake up for a bottle and sleeps about 11-12 hours a night. Kiefer also discovered his feet a while before Cameron. He also discovered his winky around the time Cameron did, but he’ll still play with it during bath time. He gets funny when he plays with it. I think he is already starting to notice the sensations of his little boy part. I hate that I have to play with it. NO SICKOS! I’m not actually ‘playing’ with it. The skin on his shaft is sticking to the head of his penis, and I have to try to encourage it to disconnect. Speaking of head, the one on his shoulders has grown. Of course it has, but for a while, his head has been measuring between 10% and 5%. At his last physical (6 month physical), his head measured 75% ! Can you believe it? His head was looking bigger to me, but not that big! Even the doctor measured it about 5 times and with my help too cause she could not believe the difference!

Kiefer wasn’t always the easiest baby to feed, however. He’d stick his tongue out when we offered his food. He’d open his mouth in anticipation for the spoon, but his tongue would be in the way. He’s also very noisy when he eats. It’s basically almost like him saying, “MMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmm,” but not quite cause sometimes that “mmmm” would become more of a whine and fussiness. He’s even cry sometimes. He was not easy to read, but now he takes in his food without his tongue in the way and it’s been a lot easier to get him the food he wants. He’ll still “MMmmmm” through the process but it doesn’t turn in to a whining fussiness nearly as often as it did in the beginning. He tries to hold the spoon when I feed him, but if he gets control of the spoon, he won’t let go. I’m also afraid he’ll choke himself, so I don’t let him have it. It’s so sweet how he wants to do this himself. He’s a very independent baby though, so it’s not too much of a surprise. He likes his cuddles, but he like to do things on his own. He’s patient, which makes playing with him easy, considering he’s an independent thinker.

Together, they are a blast. They will laugh at each other, challenge each other to jumping in their jumperoos, touch each other sweetly, and share toys. Some of that I’m sure will change, but it’s so incredibly adorable to watch. So, like I said. I sit here watching Kiefer as he’s going through a nasty cold as I hold on to one of Cameron’s sock feeling amazed. I’m amazed with them, but mostly at my heart. I cannot understand how I can have this much room to love in such a small organ. It’s split in 5 right now…my two dogs, my husband, and my two boys. On top of that, I love them more and more every day. Sometime, it aches so much because I feel like it’s so full it’s bursting open at the seems. But, then the ache subsides as my heart makes room to hold all my growing feelings again and ready itself for the next day. I just can’t believe I was blessed with such beautiful boys. I feel like I was given two angels to raise, and someone just trusted me and my husband to raise them so they can grow up to make this world a better place. I know they’ve already made my world a better place. So now, I am also faced with a bunch of new emotions. I am sad to know they are growing up so fast. So many milestones have passed and I will miss those moments. But I am so excited to see who they are becoming. I’m looking forward to the new milestones and being able to talk to them and play with them more. I enjoy watching them learn and look around at their world with amazement. I almost can’t wait to hear them tell me how they see things. But, for now, I just look forward to seeing them every day. I look forward to seeing their smiles and hearing them talk and laugh. I look forward to seeing what new achievements the new day brings for both of them.

Well, I’m sorry it took so long to update everyone on the goings on in my life. I have more things going on too that I’ll update on when I am able to. I’m getting tired now and I think I’m going to actually sleep….until someone wakes me up. Until next update!

Meanwhile, I am SOO FRIGGIN’ ITCHY!!! There are three reasons I am this itchy still. I have acquired more stretch marks on my belly and now on my legs, My edema has gotten worse especially on my legs, and my Pupps is also more wide spread. All this has gotten to the point where I’m about to rip my skin off my body despite the pain and bleeding that would occur. One thing that is frustrating is that this itchyness won’t be going away as soon as these babies come out. The itching will eventually, but not right away. I’ll also be left with tons of stretch marks that will take a very long time to heal and a saggy belly that’ll take a while to also go back to near normal. *sarcasm* OOOO something else to look forward to! Well, there is one thing to look forward to. Even though I’ll be waking up a lot to feed these babies, I’m hoping that the sleep I’ll haveis more restful than what I’m having now. Once this itching goes away, I’ll be able to have a couple of hours of scratch-free sleep and even pee-free sleep! It’ll be a step up from what’s going on now.

My mother is visiting tomorrow and will be around until the 30th. It’ll be nice having her here. Then my hubby’s aunt and uncle are visiting for about a week, maybe more, to help out. That’ll be nice having her here too. I’ll need all the help I can get. My mother will be back on July 12 for a few days to continue helping out. Then my uncle and aunt may be visiting for a day or so on their way to New Jersey like they do every year. That’ll be nice to have them here too. They wouldn’t be coming to help, but more to meet the two new little squirts. My Dad will make a very brief visit this Wednesday. I have mixed feelings about that. Now, I’m ecstatic he’ll be here. I’m looking forward to seeing him, I’d just have wished he’d be hanging around longer. His excuse was that he has tons of patients to see and had to move for this. Not exactly the nice sentiment I was hoping to hear especially since he could have made his visit this Friday and stayed until Sunday when he doesn’t have patients. However, on the other hand, it is somewhat of a special thing to see someone at the hospital. He’ll see me and his two new grandsons before coming home. he won’t be here in time for the birth, but it’s close enough. I never expected him to be here in time for the birth. That would have been a bit too soon especially with his schedule. So, I’m not going to complain. I’m a little disappointed it’ll be such a brief visit while I can’t really see him for long. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him, but he’s coming to see me and the two boys, and it’s really going to be so nice to have him here. I hope to see him again before the end of the year though. At least then I’ll be out of the hospital and be able to give him more attention. I guess I just miss him, and I know he’s really looking forward to meeting his two new grandsons.

When we get home, with the two boys, we plan on making a few trips back home with some clothes and stuff for my dogs to smell so they are at least familiar with what these boys will smell like. I’m SOOO hoping Sparky will welcome them with no problems, but if she’s freaked out, then we’ll just have to do a slow introduction with her. It’ll work out. She’s a good girl and I know she means well. Babies scare her since she was abuse, so she may just get a little concerned at first as to what I’m going to do with her. Nothing of course. I’d never hurt her, but dogs don’t forget as much as people say they do. I remember when I first brought Skye home, she felt replaced and pushed aside. I WILL NOT let her go through that again! It was heart breaking! Eitherway, I’m thinking I’m makign too much of this and the dogs will do what’s right to the best of their ability.

I can’t believe they are not ready to come out at this point. Next week, I have another doctor’s appointment and an NST with an API. The NST is to listen in and make sure they are not stressing out and are doing ok. The API is a visualization to do a brief growth estimate to determine when they may have to come out. I’m seeing my doctor regardless since I had made that appointment before knowing about the NST/API requirements. I’m going to be doing the NSTs and APIs every week until I pop. I also have a follow-up ultrasound in three weeks. I’ll be really surprised if I last that long to me honest with you.

Now,back to the baby shower. One of the games was to guess the due dates, time born, and weights of the babies when they are born. Well, already a few people are out of the pool. Some had guessed they will be under 5 lbs when they are born. LOL, well that ain’t going to happen! I’m thinking about 6 – 7 lbs at least.

Now there is still one concern with Kiefer. His left kidney is still a little dilated. The doctor said that it may be narrowed where the kidney meets the ureter, or reflux. I’m suspecting reflux since the problem goes from one side to the next. If it doesn’t clear up by the time he’s born, they will do a postnatal assessment on him to determine what could be causing his delay with urinating. I hope it’s nothing too serious.  He IS peeing, but it’s just not happening as easily as it should be.

As far as their estimated growth. Cameron’s age is averaging at 36w 1d and Kiefer’s age is estimated at 34w 5d. It appears that Cameron is still 3 weeks ahead but at least he hasn’t gained too much in age. His head is big, however and he’s breech now, so my desire to go for a vaginal birth is probably not going to happen. I think I’m going to be facing a c-section at this point . Oh well, I still can hope, but if I have to do a cesarean, then so be it. It’s the babies’ health that matters here. I will not be able to have a vaginal breech if he’s in the position he’s in any how. There are some breech positions which are not that dangerous to both the mom and baby, but he’s in a slightly tilted Frank breech I believe and that is just not going to happen for me. Kiefer is also breech, but twin B’s are a bit more flexible since there’s often a chance the second baby can change positions last minute due to having all that extra space after twin A is born. As far as Kiefer goes, he’s slowly catching up to Cameron’s estimated age. That makes me happy because he’s definitely getting everything he needs and Cameron is sharing his space well with Kiefer. Though…I think Cameron was kicking Kiefer in the head last week in the sneak peek ultrasound I got from the doctor. Well, what should I expect? They’re boys!

I’m at 32 weeks and 3 days. My doctor said to not be surprised if these boys want to come out at around 34 weeks. That’s at least a week and a half away!  Can you believe that? It feels so soon! I mean, I have been waiting a long time for these boys to finish baking and even more so to get pregnant at all! I know I deserve this chance to be a mom, but my life is going to change so fast so much so soon! It honestly scares me. I’m not sitting in some remote corner of my house, rocking back and forth mumbling incomplete thoughts repeatedly over it or anything, but the idea that within one month, my entire life and focus will be changed.

Of course, worries of will I be a good mom, will Jason enjoy his new role as a dad, will my dogs be good girls and welcome these boys into their lives with little to no complications, will these boys be healthy… I could go on. These worries are neverending. Normal worries, I’m sure, but neverending. I guess I have to get used to that too…list of the neverevending worries. It’s part of being a mom I suppose.

Now, this does not by any means that I want to follow in the steps of my own mother. She had her good days and bad days of being a mom, but I hope to stay to my own values and morals and only take in the things that I learned from my mother that I found helpful and disregard the ones that I didn’t feel taught me much at all. I want to feel like I learned to be a better mother than my mother was to me. The only thing that becomes a huge challenge is that she never raised twins. That part makes me nervous. I see how much of a challenge it is to raise one child at a time…I gotta raise two at once! I know I’m going to get some advice from family members, and some of that advice will be good and useful, but some of it I’ll have to filter out and be patient with those offering their help even if I don’t want to hear it. I’ve had plenty of practice with that already and so far I think I’ve done a good job taking in only what I want to use or consider. It just gets harder when the same person gives me the same advice over and over again. it feels pushy rather than just a friendly suggestion.

My mother will rarely but has at least twice now picked on my baby registry. Now, nothing she’s said is bad. She’s not saying I’ve picked out bad items or anything, but that these are deluxe items and it makes me look like a new mom. Now, I am a new mom and I want to get the best for my boys. You never really get the chance to have another first child (or in my case, two children) so you do want the best for him or her. I see nothing wrong with what I have for them. I’m sure some things I get may not be something that these boys care for, but every baby is that way. Sure, they may find the box the toy comes in to be more fascinating than the toy itself, but that doesn’t mean just give the boys a bunch of boxes for their birthdays. If we do have another child…IF…. then a lot of these items will be good for hand-me-downs. Some of them may be helpful to family members that also have children of their own and we have no more use for an item or so. We also can sell some of the used or not-so-used items online if it comes to that. Nothing wrong with making a little money after they run out of uses for the things they have.

Another concern I do have is the dogs. They need my attention. We think we’ve come up with a decent solution, and that is since the babies will be spending the night in their own room from day one, then night time, after the boys go to bed, will be dog attention time. Already, these dogs are used to less attention so they will be ready for the lack of it once these babies come home. That will help a great deal. Now, they also get to spend time with us when they go for a walk, when one of us is not with the babies, and when they are napping. Course, some of that attention they will be getting is napping with us and not play time. However, they are old dogs and napping has become more frequent anyhow so I’m not too worried about that. At no point will I deny then the right to be involved with our lives with these babies, but they will have to learn some manners when in the company of these babies. I have faith that Sparky will take on the role of a good big fur sister and not see these boys as intruders or attention hogs. I’m hoping to get to the point where she will see these babies’ roles as family members and mommy’s property which means she’s not to get her nose too close without permission and is not to harm these babies in any way. I will be watching her closely and encouraging her to play nice and be patient. She can do it, I’ve seen her do it. I KNOW she’s a sweetie that wants to be a good girl. I’m not too worried about Skye at this point. She’s got patience and a sweet disposition around people. I just hope that her need to protect Sparky from her own (Sparky’s) anxiety doesn’t make her too nervous being around these babies.

Meanwhile, I’m looking forward to the baby shower that’s coming up on Friday. I already have an idea of what to expect, but for the most part, it’s still a surprise to me. I don’t know what is ordered for lunch other than where the food is coming from. I don’t know what games are planned other than there will be games, and I don’t know how things will look other than that we have decorations to put up. The house has already been cleaned so that helps a lot with some of the anxiety of having guests over. I’ll probably have to keep the dogs in the laundry room since we will have a baby and a young boy there that may make her nervous. So far, I’m still in good shape. I’m walking without crutches, I’m not going in to labor, and I have a decent amount of energy still left in me that I can enjoy the company and party without having to take breaks. I’m not on bedrest like I was worried I would be. Carrying around a couple of large babies this far in the pregnancy game is no easy task, but I’ve been playing the game well, and I am still up for the task of carrying them around on my own two feet with little to no assistance….not that Jason hasn’t helped me through a lot of this. He’s been so good to me. He seems to enjoy helping out when he can, though I can tell some of this has been hard on him and makes him feel overwhelmed. He’s been amazing though. I give him so much credit for doing the best he can to take me places that he normally doesn’t go with me to, helping me around the house when I’m unable to walk or do certain things, and has been great with fixing up the place to make it ready for guests and of course the arrival of the babies. I couldn’t ask for a better man!

Well, I think I’ve worn down these computer keys enough with this long post. I’ll continue on after I know more from my doctor appointment on Thursday and my nest ultrasound on Tuesday.  I jsut ahve a feeling things are about to change soon.

Let’s start with the car ride to the airport. We had to drop off the dogs first. We were really pushing the time, but it had to be done. On my way there, I tried to park the car but my seat belt locked! I couldn’t see where the lines were so like an idiot, I played tug-o-war with the seat belt and won! Unfortunately, the prize I got was a big toss into the steering wheel. The wheel hit me in Kiefer territory. I had been feeling him move only recently before that. I was a jiffy pop pan the night before between the two of them so I was starting to feel secure that Kiefer is doing well. That changed! Though the steering wheel incident wasn’t too strong, I felt sore there and nothing from Kiefer. I did eventually feel Cameron kick a bit so I was at least happy to feel that he’s ok, but what about Kiefer! I couldn’t stand the idea that I may have hurt him in any way! We decided to go to the airport since nothing seemed to have happened during that accident. I decided to at least get a wheel chair because I didn’t want to overwhelm my body after what happened. On the plane ride, however, I started to feel contractions. Not very strong, but contractions nonetheless about 5 or so minutes apart! OH NO! Please Kiefer! Be ok! Cameron was still kicking though. I had tried to use the bathroom, I wasn’t bleeding at least. I was so happy I got a wheel chair at JFK airport. The ride to the baggage claim was a long, long ride. I was not contracting much by that time at least. We were greeted by hubby’s aunt at the baggage claim. We didn’t have any bags to claim since we packed light, but it was easiest to meet her there. Well all just went home and took it easy for the rest of the day. I needed to rest and try to relax from that morning’s ordeal. I still felt nothing from Kiefer. I’m still worried!

Friday morning, hubby’s aunt and uncle took us to see hubby’s parents’ cemetery. His uncle’s child who had an unfortunate accident also was buried there so we got to see him too. It was nice. It was after some rain so there was soft dirt around there. I got to introduce the two unborn kids to their grandparents….though I never did mention their names. I felt bad about that. I just didn’t think about it! After we said our greetings and hubby’s aunt and uncle planting the flowers for hubby’s parents, we drove off to find my grandparents’ cemetery. That was a bit of a drive, but it was really nice to see my grandparents’ house again. We took pictures in front of it. I of course had to pee so we had to cut that short. We then went to find the cemetery. It had definitely been a long time since I last went there, but we found the sites fairly easily. I introduced their unborn great grandkids to then, plus I remembered to say their names this time), and we placed the flowers hubby’s uncle got for them on the grave stones and took some pictures to give to my mother once they are developed. My mother was nearly in tears when I told her what we were going to do that day. I am happy I did go. I normally don’t because I just feel uncomfortable, but I’m glad I came around and said my hellos. They are my grandparents after all! I even told them the story of when I came to visit once and I felt my grandfather’s presence there. It was both hair raising and comforting to know he’s there watching with me. I can’t say I didn’t feel some presence there when I visited this time, but I think my grandfather was just waiting for my grandmother before moving on. I just felt a certain amount of peace by both of their graves this visit.

The friend I saw on Friday night showed me her house that’s still under construction. It’s coming a long really nicely. I just can’t believe she and her family are still sane after living in the small trailer just outside the house. We went to dinner where we had a good long talk about whatever. We paid for her and her hubby’s dinner since it was so close to both their birthdays. She and her hubby gave me a really nice picture frame with animal pairs (Noah’s Arc theme), and they engraved the bottom with our boys’ names and the year they will be born in. We just can’t pin point a month yet, so it was smart she didn’t try to guess that part. She really wants to come visit us this year. She was just about insisting on it. I don’t mind, but I just won’t be able to deal with a long visit. She doesn’t seem to mind the shorter visit this time. Mainly I explained we won’t be going anywhere. These babies won’t be able to be brought to too many places. Walks, yes, but no restaurants, going out to movies, visiting places….it’s all going to be in our house. She still thinks she’d like to come visit. She loves babies. I don’t mind it for some reason. Maybe because I won’t be able to get out much and it would be nice to see someone from the outside world during the start of this new baby journey.

**Note: Still no kicks from Kiefer, only Cameron…getting more worried.

I saw another friend on Saturday during a time I’m sure she’d have preferred later. She’s not a morning person, but I was going to see my father later that night and there was no way in hell I was going to cancel or move him. He just doesn’t have that flexibility to just come in from an hour away whenever I want. I was also looking forward to having dinner with him. I got some grief on my friend finding a place to park or more so that after she found us and left to find a parking spot, some opened up and I didn’t call her back. As parking goes, once a spot opens up, there is another car taking the spot. Besides I had to pee REALLY bad. I can’t help that I needed to get inside the building so quickly…I’m peeing for three! Well, once we found each other, things got better. Bad idea to go to the mall, though. No one was thinking that it would be that crowded! It was before Easter, however. I was getting phobic or something and cranky which didn’t help. My back was hurting and I was cramping a bit. It was nice seeing my friend even though I’m sure I wasn’t the most pleasant person to be around at that time. I’m just so sorry for the mood I was in. I wish there was something else we could have done, but I didn’t want to hang out at her house nor my hubby’s Aunt’s/Uncle’s house. Nothing really to do in either place and I wanted to get out. Well, maybe next time we’ll figure out a better choice. I’ll have babies by that time so we may have some different idea of things to do. Unfortunately, it won’t be for a while that I even go anywhere!

Saturday night was nice. I saw my father. He was looking tired, but traveling from Africa and London are not exactly around the corner. I don’t doubt that he was still suffering from a bit of jet lag! It sounded like he had a lot of fun biking and taking pictures. I think he mentioned playing a little golf along the way. Not a surprise at all! We had a great dinner! We all had veal. He had piccata and both my hubby and I had Parmesan. We all shared some calamari while my dad also enjoyed some clams. After dinner, we all went to visit my hubby’s aunt and uncle. It was a nice talk. I know my father enjoys seeing them. They shared some dessert and some brandy, shared some adventures and knowledge on cars and stuff. Then my dad went home. He was a bit buzzed form the brandy so of course I’m all worried for him. He got home ok.

**Note: Nothing at first from Kiefer, but when my hubby placed his hands over Kiefer territory, I thought I felt him tumble around. Still nothing beyond that and Cameron was not kicking as much as usual either….still worried, but slight relief.

Sunday was Easter and was expected to be somewhat busy. Well, it turned out one of our invited guests had her baby the night before. She was expected to pop at any time. Well, her baby girl was born Easter morning via c-section. The father is my hubby’s cousin. I was sorry I didn’t get to see them, but I’m very happy for their new addition. What a nice Easter gift! So, the guest list pretty much was me, my hubby, Hubby’s grandmother, aunt, uncle, sister and her partner. The dinner was big as usual. Aunty loves to make her food! Actually hubby’s grandmother pitched in the chicken cutlets which she rules at! The rest of the dinner was wonderful! A cake was served to us for our birthdays. I was actually quite a bit surprised! I was not expecting a birthday cake since neither of our birthdays had arrived yet. They are in May! There was whipped cream, which I learned the new kitty term is whippy cream (hubby’s sister’s cat loves whipped cream and she came up with the nickname whippy cream when talking to her kitty), which actually made the ice cream birthday cake easier to eat for me not to mention it tasted good! Just before chowing down on the cake and other desserts, my hubby made the announcement that we have two boys. A funny story behind that was just before dinner, hubby’s sister asked anyone willing to play to guess the genders. She and her partner guessed a boy and girl, hubby’s grandmother guessed two boys, and apparently hubby’s aunt asked the banana that I was having earlier that day if I was having a girl and boy. She thought I was having two boys originally, but changed her mind. Well, hubby’s grandmother was the winner. She was on a lucky streak because she just won at bingo and some sort of raffle earlier the week before. Well, everyone was very happy and even liked the names! There was something about each name that meant somethign to them. I was so happy to hear that! I love our boys’ names! I wanted to share that pride with family. I know my mother was not entirely pleased with the name Cameron, but she too realized that she’ll get used to it. She doesn’t dislike it, but she normally likes to give names that are definitely male or female. Cameron is unisex (though associated with male), she was thinking about Cameron Diaz. I won’t change it. Everyone seems pleased with the name Kiefer though. It definitely was a good dinner. It was one of those moments that I’ll remember for a long time.

later that night, I was lying on my hubby’s lap and he put his hands on my belly with hopes of feeling something, and to comfort me since I was still nervous. A little time went by when POW! A good strong kick/punch from Kiefer (assuming it was him since it was his normal place to sit) enough that my hubby felt his kick and so did I! Then he felt two more beyond that. Though it’s possible Kiefer wanted more space, I just had a feeling he simply wanted his daddy’s touch. My hubby wasn’t pushing down and nor is his hand heavy, so it may have just been the warmth of his hand that got Kiefer’s attention. I was now also feeling a lot more kicks from Cameron in Cameron territory as well. I felt like the luckiest woman alive! That night, it was back to jiffy popping! I was exhausted from all that worrying, but I was loving each of those kicks. I still was looking forward to hearing them later than night after getting home.

The trip home was easy. I got a wheel chair ride to the terminal. It was a bit of a wait since we got there so early, but it was ok, nothing bad. My hubby had a bit of a headache so that was kind of a bummer. I felt awful for him. The plane ride went smoothly though. No contractions, and there was no turbulence like last time. Once home, we sat down and relaxed for a bit. Then it was time to listen in to the boys! I had a bit of a challenge form my hubby though. He wanted to make sure I heard both heart beats and it had to be one right after the other to make sure they aren’t moving around and I was listening to the same baby both times. I placed the Doppler to the right and slightly above my naval as usual to hear Kiefer. POW! I felt a huge kick at my cervix. WHAT?! Did Kiefer change positions? Had I been feeling him all along and not Cameron?! Oh No! I found his heartbeat though and it was going strong. PHEW! What a relief! I then went on my search for Cameron. I had a heck of a time finding his. He was moving around I assume since I’d hear somethign then nothing. Finally I caught a bit of his heat beat. Enough to get a reading. He was still down below under my naval as usual. Kiefer’s heart rate range was between 145 and 158. Cameron’s heart rate range was between 136 and 147. Good strong heart beats! I am so happy! I still don’t feel Kiefer as often, but I do feel him occasionally. All is well from my perspective! I can’t wait for my ultrasound coming up this next Tuesday!