My Big Decision

Coming up at the end of this month, I have a big decision to make. I had already discussed with my reproductive endocrinologist some of my options. He had discussed progesterone shots, controlled ovarian hyperstimulation drugs without in-vitro fertilization, and controlled ovarian hyperstimulation with in-vitro fertilization.

I, at first, decided to try the progesterone shots. I called my doctor, but he told me he didn’t think my chances of a successful pregnancy with the shot alone would be much greater than my chances now without further medical intervention. He had thought he’d use the shots with either of the COH treatments.

That left me with either COH with or without IVF. If I chose COH without IVF, that would mean the only control I’d have over multiples is a reduction after the eggs were released and fertilized. That makes me uncomfortable. I’m not against the idea so much but it makes it a good possibility that any remaining eggs may also abort themselves leaving me with nothing and having to start all over again. I just don’t think I could deal with that. Not to mention, the idea of any type of abortion, especially after what I’ve been through, is too painful, and I just am not comfortable with that thought and decision.

I think I may be going to controlled ovarian hyperstimulation with in-vitro fertilization. It gives me the highest chance of a successful pregnancy and a certian amount of control over how many eggs I have inside my uterus. If the doctor replaces 3 eggs, usually 1 or 2 eggs make it. It’s a lot of effort for me to go through all this, but I am willing to take the risk. It’ll be scary though. According to my doctor, I have only a 50% chance of success, but that’s better than what I have now. People tell me over and over again that IVF is only for people that cannot conceive, which is not my situation. I am very fertile but have recurrent miscarriages. My doctor reassured me that IVF is also successful for my situation as well. I say, what do I have to loose…besides a lot of money. IVF is VERY expensive, but for the chance at having a baby together, I think it’s worth it!

My mother is very generous and wants to help me out. I am amazed at the support I have from my family. My father even wants to be there for the meeting Ihave with my RE later this month. My mother is going to be there. My father is going to try to make it. I feel they both feel it is an investment in a grandchild for themselves and a chance to be a large part of my life. My brother gave them three grandchildren. I guess it’s my turn to continue the family line!

I have thought about what would happen if this doesn’t work. My hubby and I will continue to try naturally, but we may end up just adopting a baby. As much as we want to have one of our own, we would welcome and cherish an adopted baby of our own. We both were adopted and know we’d have a lot to offer a new, adopted baby. It’s just at this point, we both feel that when we put our names on an adoption list, it means we have given up any chance at a natural birth of our own. Not that we’d give up hope, but we are no longer going to be making any major effort to make our own. We’d hope for the best, but not expect much in return.

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