WOW! Lots to catch up!

First off, I just want to say I’m sorry for waiting so long to post something here. It’s apparently something I do…forget to post. So I guess it’s better late than never!

Well, let’s see. I’m going to start from where I left off last time! The job interview. I got the externship! They weren’t going to take in anyone, but they liked my interview and wanted to help me work in the field. I am SOO excited about that!

Well, I was up for an IVF treatment. Last time I went through this treatment, it took a while for me to be on my Lupron. That’s the leutinizing hormone that normally gets made by the eggs to tell the body to make progesterone…the pregnancy hormone, but I think it works slightly different with IVF. Anyhoo, my doctor ordered a faster protocol with more amounts of the same medication. This meant that I would be going through the actual retrieval/transfer about 2-3 weeks earlier than expected! This means that I’ll be going through my internship right in the middle of when I have miscarried in the past! OH NO!! For now, I figured, let’s just see what happens. 

Let’s talk about the IVF treatment this time around. First, I had a hysteroscopy. The doctor just wanted to make sure everything was clear with a much clearer picture since the last IVF treatment didn’t work. The procedure was fairly painless. It felt like a rough pap smear. The camera used was very small and the whole process was brief. They didn’t have the screen turned in a direction that made it easy to see, but I got that he thought it looked clear since all he kept saying was, “Beautiful! It’s looks beautiful!” So I guess that meant all is clear ;).

The next thing I was to do was the baseline ultrasound. That went very well. Ultrasounds aren’t normally painful. This was was no exception. Again…all is clear. I started the Lupron and ended my birth control pills. I also took doxycycline to make sure that I don’t have any infections lingering about. My husband had to take the doxy too for his body as well. The next thing to start was the Follistim. That is the follicle stimulating hormone. That one tells the ovaries to start making those follicles/eggs!

I went in for my second ultrasound where they look to find how many follicles are being made. This time, the doctor had to search much deeper in with the ultrasound wand so it hurt a bit…especially on my right side. 7? That was it. 7 follicles between both ovaries, but there were some small ones that were starting to appear. They took an estrodial blood test which tests the levels of the estrogen and it was pretty low. So I was to up the Follistim amount which was already doubled from the last IVF cycle. It wasn’t a lot more but it seemed to be tons. I even had to purchase another Follistim tube because I was low and that stuff is expensive!

I went in for my third ultrasound and again it hurt. Thanks right ovary for hiding again!! They counted 9 follicles this time. That’s almost the same as last time. I’m so bummed! Last time there wasn’t much luck with 8 follicles since only 1 egg divided once it was fertilized. There were still some small ones lingering about and none of them were mature enough to remove so I still had time to see what happens. My estrodial leves were much better so I wasn’t to change a thing.

I went in for my fourth and final ultrasound before trigger day. They counted 11 this time. 11! WOOHOO much better! Now I’m feeling better about my cycle and was so sure I’d have more good eggs to use. They told me to trigger the following day since the majority of my follicles were matured. Saturday was now scheduled for my retrieval.

Saturday came about and I was to be there at 6:30am! HOLY COW! I can’t believe I made it! That’s way too early for me. I suppose that was a good thing because I’d probably sleep through the entire process and not remember a thing. Well, not the case. I was brought in to the room and fed the IV anesthesia. They may as well have done nothing because DAMN did it hurt. I was squirming a bit but I held it in. I do remember I slept through a part of it. I remember the doctor (embryologist) counting in the background, “Egg one,” then I remember her saying “Egg 11″. They removed all 11 eggs! Awesome! So I was brought back to the room. Apparently I started to cry again. Last time I cried a bit, but this time not as badly. Apparently it’s a normal response to both the procedure and the anesthesia. Once of the nurses came in and told me that I had 14 eggs in there, but three of them weren’t mature enough so they left them in there. My body will just reabsorb them. Holy cow! 14 eggs in all! I’m happy with 11 eggs. No complaints here! I’ll find out later that day how many were fertilized.

The next morning (I guess they decided to call me much later), the doctor called and told me they fertilized 9 eggs. Two of them didn’t make it. I thought that was great news! 9 eggs is much better than one egg like last time. Tuesday morning was set for my transfer.

I don’t remember the time it was set for, but the transfer was not as early as the retrieval day. Last time, my bladder was about to burst so I decided to only drink 20 minutes ahead of time instead of 30 minutes. I have to fill my bladder at least half way so it remains straight enough they can see clearly in there. Before taking me into the transfer room, the doctor came in all ready to give me a lecture on why I should accept two eggs. They had 5 really good eggs and 4 good ones. No baddies, which was good. He only got to the part where I was 34 years old and with my miscarriage history he’d recommend two eggs but it’s up to me…..” I cut him off and said without a doubt in my voice, “I want two eggs!” He seemed both surprised and very happy to hear that I didn’t need him to convince me why two eggs are better than one.

Well, I was feeling rather comfortable this time when they took me in. They inserted the speculum and applied the abdominal ultrasound. Last time because my bladder was so full, that was really irritating. This time, apparently, my bladder wasn’t full at all. There was nothing in it. OH NO!! That would probably mean they’d have to make me wait a little longer. I just don’t want to have to go badly through this. I was afraid I was going to pee on the doctor last time! I didn’t want to feel that again. Well, as the doctor got ready, you could see my bladder filling up with urine very quickly. So, there was no need to worry, my bladder worked quickly enough so they could proceed with the transfer. They showed me a picture of the two embryos they were going to transfer. They looked really good from my point of view! The entire procedure didn’t take very long, and I only slightly felt the urge to pee even afterwards. The embryos were transfered without a single problem, so now all I have to do is wait.

That following weekend, my family visited. My mother, my brother with his three boys, and my cousin with her new 3 month old son. Normally, I’d have felt sad through this since I was surrounded by so many very young children when I was still having trouble just getting one of my own. But, to my surprise I was falling in love all over again with the idea that I may still be having kids of my own. I loved having everyone there! Even my brothers middle child who was fussing through a lot of the visit. He just was tired. None of them upset me. I loved having them around. i was impressed by all the different personalities they’ve all grown in to. My youngest nephew had the biggest imagination I’ve seen in a while which was wonderful to see. My oldest nephew used to be a serious fussbucket but he’s become so much calmer and easier to control. Apparently he still has his bad days. The fussy one this trip was the middle nephew. He’s got the middle child syndrome in the worst way. He just needed some personal time and my hubby did a great job offering that time to him and anyone that needed his attention. Even though he did end up cutting some of our fun time short on the one day we all had, I still had a great time with them. Of course, my cousin’s baby didn’t fuss the entire visit. He was an angel. We’ll see how long that lasts! LOL

Monday came around and I had started to feel some boob aches and pelvic pinches since Sunday. I just felt that it was time to test! So that night I got my test out and ready for me to pee on the following morning. I don’t think I waited long enough. I just woke up in the middle of the night and decided to pee in the cup and dip the stick. Then I waited and waited and waited. BIG FAT NEGATIVE! WAHHH!!! I can’t believe it! Not pregnant! I told my hubby the next morning what happened and he was so disappointed. Partially because I didn’t tell him I was going to test. I wanted to surprise him. I guess I did, but not with the news he wanted to hear. I told some forum friends about what happened, and they said I tested too early. I did? That would be great if that’s true! I started to realize that I counted from the retrieval and not the transfer. In that case, I did jump the gun by quite a bit. WHEW! I’m still feeling the pinches by even more now and my boobs are still on and off sore. I’m also really tired. Everything in me tells me I’m pregnant. I may still be fooling myself, because I want this so badly…even twins! But, for now, I’m still waiting to test again. I may try Sunday, or I’ll just wait until Tuesday’s blood test to let me know if I am preggers or not.

Meanwhile, I did call the place where I’ll be interning. I decided to let them know what is going on with me. My supervisor said she really appreciates my honesty and being straight with her. She knows that most people are told not to say anything about their personal lives, but they understand that there.We agreed to have me go there part time. I can change my mind on how many hours I’ll be there per day, but for now, I’ll be there Monday through Thursday 9am to 3pm. I’ll be off Fridays.

I’m so excited about how well this has been going so far. I start my externship next week on Thursday. Next Tuesday is my last day of classes. Once I’ve finished my externship, I just take my certification exam and hopefully become a certified medical assistant. If I do not work at the place I’m interning at, then I will look for a job. My career will at least be on it’s way, and I hope my family life will also be on it’s way.

If this IVF cycle doesn’t work and the frozen cycle doesn’t work. Then my hubby and I agreed on looking into either embryo adoption or live adoption. We’ll also continue to try naturally for a little bit. There’s only so many miscarriages either one of us can take.

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